Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML
Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML
Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML
Today, after almost 20 years of celibacy, a beautiful young woman surprisingly took interest in me, and we get along great. My close female friend, who I did once have feelings for, but who always made it clear she'd never see me "in that way" is having a full-blown emotional breakdown. Well, according to her husband anyway. FML
Today, I realized the only person who’s ever loved me was an old friend. She was an amazing girl, she was there for me at my highs and lows, but I didn’t find her attractive, so I turned her down. She has since then moved on and gotten married, while I’m still getting played left and right by women. FML
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML
Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML
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Top comments
cakefete2 31
Not so much huge as long.
SamSwebb 24
Better than no-one ... I guess :)
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Comments (100)
SamSwebb 24
Better than no-one ... I guess :)
PAsurvivor 15
#1 is right for sure, better her than nobody :)
Quackadoodledoo 13
If it was between a 70 year old or nobody, I'd take nobody. Maybe my standards are just too high.
blancoing 14
or maybe you are scared and don't think you can handle it
PIGaming 21
Shots. Fired.
rdenkewicz 11
Suck up.
MortenM 17
Yea. Just close your eyes and imagine she is her 7 years younger sister.
crazypplun1te 4
Well look on the bright side...at least she is female.
Kalipczo 21
Well is she hot
euphoricness 28
Yah her boobs are freaking huge
cakefete2 31
Not so much huge as long.
Rainhawk94 27
Total Gilf
RedPillSucks 33
Just think Lena Horne or Raquelle Welsh
Steve95401 49
Most 70 year olds haven't had that much work done and, obviously, aren't going to look as good as Ms. Welch or Horne.
blueboy154 12
Atleast there is SOMEONE who meets u.
Welshite 40
Hey, she'll have plenty of experience! Don't knock it until you've tried it.
cakefete2 31
Agreed. Just wait till she removes her teeth, then the party really starts.
zandalee 20
How old is Tina Turner?? She has a new younger lover all of the time... Mind you, she is simply the best!
crazytwinsmom 25
@6 just be gentle, she's more fragile at that age.
AnOriginalName 19
MILF! Or.... GILF, probably?
zaise_chsa 19
Probably GGILF: Great Grandma I'd Like to F*ck
Pancakes017 19
Does she wear animal print? Because I'm sensing a cougar...
jimmy_poison 19
At that age, I would suggest she's a sabertooth!
iOceanus 18
I think it's called a dragon, but don't quote me on that.
pam241 15
could have been your 70 year-old male neighbor
thaliah 15
Age is just a number. Tap that ass.
feven 32
And rape is just a name. Depending on how old OP is.
TheAbstract 15
Age is just a number. Tap that ass WITH CONSENT TO DO SO.
thaliah 15
64 knows what I'm talking about! Haha.
pratikp03 22
Cougars are hot! Go for it
slyde32 12
they're also in their forties when considered "hot" not nearing 80
phatdaddy62 23
And 60, exactly what do you know about it?