Today, I tried making homemade bread, just for fun. My girlfriend started yelling that we had perfectly good bread from the store, "but noooo, my boyfriend just HAS to make his own bread!" She ended up ruining the experience, so I just threw the dough in the garbage and went to get drunk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML
Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML
Today, just before bed, I decided to put away the dry washing. I ended up knocking over my boyfriend's precious brewing ginger beer. It took me an hour to clean it off the floor, cupboards, door, outside and inside of the fridge. Everything is still sticky and smells of yeast. FML
Today, I spent my entire day off making a brisket. It had been cooking for 8 hours when, just before dinner, I went for a quick jog. In that time my girlfriend came home and ruined it by trying to make it the way she wanted. I'm a chef and she's an office worker. We couldn't eat it. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I was cleaning out some cabinets and stumbled upon a bottle of vodka. Being a recovering alcoholic, I immediately flushed it down the toilet. When my boyfriend got home, instead of being proud of my victory, he bitched me out for wasting the good shit. That’s for the support babe. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
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Top comments
Crowned Sataness 12
you know you're allowed to get rid of her, right?
Chazzster 32
Girlfriend does not sound like a keeper. Some idiots become threatened somehow if their significant other does anything that seems out of the norm for their idea of their role. That's remarkably stupid and closed minded behavior...
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Comments (9)
Chazzster 32
Girlfriend does not sound like a keeper. Some idiots become threatened somehow if their significant other does anything that seems out of the norm for their idea of their role. That's remarkably stupid and closed minded behavior...
Crowned Sataness 12
you know you're allowed to get rid of her, right?
SirEnigM0nk 22
Time to ditch the b!tch. You deserve better. Normally I'd say talk things out but this is a red flag.
core01 30
Girlfriend -garbage, dough - oven
kittycatkelss 29
Really don’t want to mix those two up
Rake 18
Chose to be with those who empower you. Chose to stay away from those degrade you
WardenWolf 26
Unless there is a significant extenuating circumstance that is causing her to act like this, this should be the red flag to walk away.
newbiemalestr8 27
Should have baked the bread and enjoyed it. Don’t give her power over your enjoyment
Thaylok 17
The good thing is you are just bf/gf. Which means you found a good reason to not keep this one around and instead find someone who will be supportive.
Shzusuziq11 12
She has obviously never tasted fresh, warm, homemade bread. And, she sounds like a total bitch!