Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML
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Top comments
snafu57 1
the butterfly effect. one touch can produce ripples that affects the entire other side of your body.
snafu57 1
a cushion for the pushin. if he's playing with the pork chops, you should play with his tiny limp noodle.
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Comments (120)
MF12 0
oh come one he's just teasing
bowtheboo 0
you don't always have to be fat to have jiggly thighs.
ssokergrl 0
my boyfreind does the same thing to me what the heck is up with that? do they not get we don't like it??
jade_ortiz 0
my boyfriend does the same thing.
TheyCallMeThumpe_fml 0
at least he knows about cooking? FYL :(
Shivverr 0
Why does everyone have to say something about the person being fat? Honestly, you people are insensitive dicks. You guys are awesome for not having any sense of sympathy. Good job.
kathrynclw 0
my boyfriend does the same thing! it's a guy thing
SofaKingHappy 0
lose weight.
eyin 0
I wouldn't nessacarily say that's a bad thing.. big thighs can be good
kaylapple 1
i dont see why youre complaining. every girl has fat on their thighs.?