Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
Today, my dad texted me while I was in the dentist's chair getting my teeth cleaned. The dental hygienist jumped at the notification sound my phone made and split my gum open. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML
Today, I choked on oatmeal, watered-down soupy oatmeal. It seemed to get stuck halfway down. I chucked up several spoonfuls. My wife was oblivious to all the noise I was making because she had her over-the-ear headphones on, listening to some stupid YouTube video. FML
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Top comments
nuked 0
And why were you singing during a game? YDI for being a disrespectful idiot.
Malevise 0
YDI for being annoying.
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Comments (160)
nuked 0
And why were you singing during a game? YDI for being a disrespectful idiot.
Barre_fml 2
Or just dumb
mooshibear140 4
Haha, OP you're an idiot.
Malevise 0
YDI for being annoying.
girandwogpig 0
Agreed. Don't mess with the NFL.
jcrook 0
nah mate FA.
Broeman 0
Why do you have to be singing in the vicinity of others who don't want you to be singing? Couldn't you just go to your room or outside or something and sing? My little sister sings 24/7 and it is SO ******* ANNOYING. You totally deserved it for intentionally annoying people, you little shit. Also, nice job doing this upside down while chewing gum. Makes you a great future candidate for the Darwin Awards.
Reyo 2
Agreed #49. OP, you're an attention *****, and an annoying brat. If we met in real life, I'd be revolted at the idea of sexually pleasuring you.
TheTruth1428 0
I agree with 49. Get over yourself and do it somewhere else. YDI for being so damn annoying. On a side note, how does gravity work in your house? If you were lying upside down, gravity would have pulled that gum out of your mouth when you opened it, not shot it up and down your throat.
DomK 0
I think by upside down he meant he was hanging down from a bed or something...
crazytoaster 2
OP is an attention seeking fuckstain. I hope you choke and die.
sumbody14 0
lol crazytoaster I agree op go die please we don't need anymore untalented singers in the world
Chelsee_fml 0
agreed. YDI for being annoying
polico_wolf 0
I agree too, I know what its like to be around somebody who constantly feels the need to sing
boltaction1 0
Why would you yell NO to your dad?
Mabster84 2
What are you, five??? Grow up ya brat...
Mustardnight 3
I was about to comment on how impressive it was for a two year old to post a fml.
Finalmoech1 0
YDI for not spiiting out your gum before lying upside down you also deserve it for being disrespectful
Jacks_Penguin 0
YDI for being a stingy brat.
Rellich 0
YDI. No explanation needed.
infantry831 0
your stupid for singing in a room were dad watches the game. you should go hid some were and die
Anteezy 7
YDI in so many ways.
padlarf 14
YDI on so many levels. YDIYDIYDIYDI