Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML
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Top comments
snafu57 1
the butterfly effect. one touch can produce ripples that affects the entire other side of your body.
snafu57 1
a cushion for the pushin. if he's playing with the pork chops, you should play with his tiny limp noodle.
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Comments (120)
icantellu 7
LMFAO!! i love ur boyfriend already!
DrinkOMaticBJ 0
lose some wheight
iloverichardhell 0
big whoop, sounds like hes having fun. its not like hes yelling at you calling you a fatass and beating you or something, hes just being silly.
Russia_fml 0
YDI for thinking this is in any way an FML
WTFsGoingOn 0
Tell him you don't like it and you feel it's disrespectful. He will either stop or give you an explanation for his behavior. If he does neither then he's a jerk and move on. There is no reason to be treated in a way you feel is demeaning, just keep in mind that he may not realize that's how it seems to you.
babygurl23 0
Wow, That suxs he's calling you fat, and Your letting him lol
thefull9yards 4
YDI for having fat thighs
NrahSrus73 0
You people need to stop being dicks and just appreciate this FML for the crazy hilariousness that it is. I'm not saying YDI, I'm saying this is comedic gold. I've never laughed so abruptly in my life. Your boyfriend gets five gold stars.
ihateme2 0
i completely agree with 89. ive read alot of the comments on this site, and ppl take the stories way out of context and way too seriously. just read how ppl screw up in their lives, laugh, or **** at the person in your head, then get on with your life. and yes, yu should probably go loose some weight. (y).
AntiChrist7 0
Don't date morons. YDI