Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
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Top comments
greenmachine08 0
10 bucks says he was jerkin off while he said that
n_maher 0
hahahahahha awwww that sucks, maybe it's because you are a bit more adventurous texting that real life, that's ok, just time for a bit of a change I think :) have some fun.
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Comments (69)
mrmaks18 7
slap him and then ask him why do think I did that?
triggerit 5
do what you wonna do... he will be happy...
neenaxo 0
if he only knew it was him that's sucks and your always so busy trying to fake it
kaileigh10 2
Oooh. that hurt.
mells105 0
sextinggggg
chenga001 0
bitch got told!
samammynanny 0
lol!! totaly bogus!!!
drea4206 0
i agree with 17!
sydneeeyx 0
agree with 17 :)
rubyliu8420 7
that's easy to fix. do all the things u were texting about. if you're going to talk the talk, u gotta walk the walk.