Today, I went to the grocery store where my husband works. I wanted to surprise him, so I went up behind him and started kissing his neck. He seemed to love it, and so did I, until I noticed it wasn't my husband. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML
Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my husband, only to find that his ex-wife worked there. Then I found out he never actually divorced her. FML
Today, I went to hug my husband and give him a kiss. He flinched away and asked what I was doing, because I apparently never hug him, so he thought I might be about to prank him or something. Now I feel bad. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid, and my husband said, "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML
Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML
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Top comments
UTTU 0
Someone had a good day.
fearfulsymmetry 1
I honestly don't know how you weren't able to tell a random man from your husband. ALSO, since when is it professional behavior to start kissing up on your husband at his place of work? I highly doubt his superior would be okay with that sort of behavior. Control yourself and wait until you're in a more appropriate(possibly private) setting.
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Comments (108)
UTTU 0
Someone had a good day.
Zesty697 0
op is stupid because she is a woman
CANNIBALx 0
OP, nice dumb move. you can't even recognize your own husband from behind? also, even if it WAS your husband, you said you were going to suprise him, why would u go up to him and start kissing his neck? since it was a suprise, he wouldn't know it was you and probably wouldn't react very well. also, I'm pretty sure his boss wouldn't appreciate him making out with his wife on the job. Use some common sense next time
hott15 0
your screw up started by being married to someone who works at a grocery store!
persianjr1 7
next time just slap him in the face and pretend he was attacking you. 100% of you humiliation , gone haha
fakeaccountX 6
If your husband saw you, then you succeeded in surprising him.
BethiiGeex 0
Kinky bitch ;-)
dariuz 0
look who's talking
jewban 3
25 most people are losing their jobs in this economy and hey you need to work somewhere rather than dot at home getting nothing done
InfiltratedMind 0
61 not according to Obama. shy does her husband need his job anyway?? why not go home and have babies so they can get a bigger welfare check! discuss?
ColetteL 4
Agreed. I asked my ex sister-in-law why she quit her job. She said because she "makes enough on welfare". Made me want to punch a dumbass.
_GEORGE_M_96 0
your a fit bitch ;)
chell1894 13
F*ck welfare. Makes it easy for lazy people to be even lazier and just have babies that will make it nowhere in life.
Keeks14 0
hahaha number 42 your comment made me laugh soo hard... I completely agree
warpig182 0
Way to go playa
BehindTheSun 2
Shoulda cropped a feel and made the guy's day
DearLar 0
hope your husband didn't see. ;D
mfmylifesrsly 30
why would a guy love that? like if he didnt know what she looked like she could be fugly...o.0 creeper
LosAsquith 3
You have no idea how a man's mind works it is awkward in the weirdest ways
that1guyyy 12
ydi for marrying someone who works in a grocery store
HatsuneMikuPwnzz 0
least he has a job. may not be the best, but it's a job
aknnja 0
I agree
Socoollikee 3
hahaha!!
yousodi 10
looool awesome
Edge23 1
you are and idiot. you can tell ur own husband from a random guy? your husband should now get to makeout with your hot bestfriend.
myknewverr 0
can't** you mean.
liamarie 0
lol
ZombieSlaya115 17
English
FYLDeep 26
Should have surprised him via buttsecks.
cody402 7
win
IVANTTOCOME 0
So now Ed, (the pedophile grocery bagger) has something to beat off to. Thanks for saving a child.
fearfulsymmetry 1
I honestly don't know how you weren't able to tell a random man from your husband. ALSO, since when is it professional behavior to start kissing up on your husband at his place of work? I highly doubt his superior would be okay with that sort of behavior. Control yourself and wait until you're in a more appropriate(possibly private) setting.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Agree completely. I would be pissed if my husband did this to me at work and twice as pissed if he attempted to do this to me and landed on some random coworker instead. You, madam, are an idiot. Fear the wrath of your husband. Next time, keep your arse at home.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I completely agree with both of the comments above me. The OP could have put her husband's job at risk with this behavior. There is a time and place for everything and making out with someone while they are at work/on the clock is entirely inappropriate behavior. That is unless the person is a hooker or something and that is part of their job, in which case they shouldn't be giving it away for free while they are working.
fearfulsymmetry 1
I know this is completely unrelated, but ImaginaryFoe, there is not one comment that you have posted that I have disagreed with. Kudos to you ma'am!
ImaginaryFoe 1
I suspect you're only saying that because I agreed with you but I'll take it anyway. Thank you! BTW, I love your username.