Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, I tried to warm soup in a travel mug. I forgot to take the metal spoon out. The microwave lit up like a firework display, and I screamed so loudly that my neighbor knocked on my door to check if I was alive. FML
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I was using the same metal spoon to stir boiling noodles and the pasta sauce I was heating up. I decided to taste the sauce and see if it was getting warm, forgetting that the spoon was sitting in boiling water three seconds earlier. FML
Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML
Today, I woke up after putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize what I'd done until I smelt burning plastic. FML
Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML
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Top comments
RyanRaygun 0
Not to mention your heroin habit.
chakrabs 0
What are you, an idiot? Why wouldnt you use a microwave? I use it all the time with my cereal, its too cold sometimes and hurts my teeth. 10 seconds in the nuker is usually enough.
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Comments (411)
RyanRaygun 0
Not to mention your heroin habit.
Guuurlplease 0
smooth
153rdTrooper 0
He probably did that with his heroin too.
lolpwntdumass 0
um... so people that stupid do exist. I always consedered reatrds like you like Bigfoot. rarely seen, and only seen by a few.
AlmothePirate 0
I think if he had experience with heroin he would have known the spoon would still be hot.
omgitserinnn 0
MICROWAVE!!!!!
kyle1991 0
How stupid can you be to stick a heated spoon in your mouth?
luckymay 0
omg omg omg that's the funniest comment ever Lol
troyboyd05 0
The comment 285 is more stupid then the OP.
YANKSFAN4EVER 0
NICE!!!
suntherian 4
Dude, just because you've had an experience (or multiple) with something doesn't make NOT make you an idiot. I have an ex that would probably do something like this. She was so damn stupid, I could've had a more fulfilling relationship with a ******* monkey. Hell, after all the BS she put me through, it would've been awesome to see her do something like this.
OwenMcAwesome 0
Ahahahahaha " rarely seen and only seen by few " and you're calling them a retard.
TehMaskedWarrior 0
Next time, please, just skip the middleman and stick your head in the gas oven, ok?
DMarie2014 5
Well, OP... There's this pretty cool invention called a microwave.. Have you heard of it?
Oliver_Bento 3
1- I was just about to say that!!
cameron194 9
366, he didn't want to heat the entire bowl.. Just a spoonful.. And we all know what happens when you put a metal spoon in a microwave..
milkshaikh 5
Its people like OP here who make me lose hope in humanity.
pancakesrock 7
Thank you!
johobus28 26
I was honestly expecting this to end as "...when my roommate walked in and called my parents, thinking in was addicted to heroin. FML"
Kitty34_fml 0
Why didn't you just put it in the microwave? Who actually has candles anymore?
chakrabs 0
What are you, an idiot? Why wouldnt you use a microwave? I use it all the time with my cereal, its too cold sometimes and hurts my teeth. 10 seconds in the nuker is usually enough.
R34luver 5
maybe he dint wat his whole ******* bowl warm?!?! he wuz just trying it out :P
lolmonster34 0
Dude mabey he only wanted to try how it tasted dumbass
AdamsNumberOne 16
313 R.I.P Engurish
LORDLYPSO 15
How is cereal cold? do you keep it in the freezer or something?
DEATHLORD_fml 16
"The Nuker"
Me27 0
#2 - have you been to a store lately?! Yeah, this is a YDI if I've ever seen one.
bunnixbrutality 5
now i dont feel as bad lol i burned water but danm that was just stupid ydi allthewayyy
Queen_modesty 7
What's the meaning of YDI?
Queen_modesty 7
Don't answer that. I feel like such an idiot now. Geez
trackrunner525 0
lmfao, nice one...i hope you're pretty young otherwise you're ******
AngryCanadian 0
OP should be thankful that his parents didn't walk in on him ad think he was doing heroin
shineyourlight_x 0
Obviously you have no common sense.
Alleandro23 0
even when you put something very hot in your mouth, it doesn't stay in there long enough to swell up your tongue to the point of not being able to talk. Nice try though...A for effort and Y for YDI
blankaex 0
Yeah, but OP could mean it's swollen a little and can't talk because of pain.
Mjwnenrjs 17
touchè!!!!
Broc 0
Good job failing to comprehend a concept that most people come to understand when they're toddlers.
fatality2009 0
Omg im sure you were high... WERE YOU HIGH or DRUNK? Because if you werent youre a douchbag without tongue
collar50 0
You're a superstar.