Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
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Top comments
Livinia 11
Would you rather him give you a random hand job?
alicianoar 7
Congrats on the big penis bro.
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Comments (331)
SpeakingMyMind 0
Sorry OP, I was just trying to give you a compliment. Didn't mean for things to get awkward...
mismonroe 0
PICS OR STFU
Truth_Nazi 0
Why would you want pictures of a dudes' tiny dick, If that's what you want to see go see the beginning of the Hangover 2
kiddo42 10
hmm your penis WAS big, whatever happened to it. i guess that's why it's a FML
lmaoatall 6
should have asked him what he thought about your nuggets.
drewpeacock42 1
yea i know its hard being hung
Truth_Nazi 0
Not really. It's actually a pretty easy lifestyle.
jencyz 0
yeah it is
Lolpizza_fml 0
awkward moment! lol
iLoveBoobies21 0
welcome to America op, welcome to america.
Flapjakels 0
ROFL
rubypeterson 2
Can just say that you seem like a cool kid and I kinda love you and your profile pic?
jazzyjada10 6
I totally agree ahahh
sourgirl101 29
I don't know why but for some reason all I can think about after reading this is, McDonald's has the best straws.(:
Mr_mur_der 0
and the thickest...
bigmanj28 0
Did you say thank you?