Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
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Top comments
Livinia 11
Would you rather him give you a random hand job?
alicianoar 7
Congrats on the big penis bro.
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Comments (331)
BB_ava 0
The pros outweigh the cons in this FML ;)
Jimmyd0t 0
Did you say 'thank you' ?
pwilly 8
I would've been so creeped, I'd probably never be able to piss I'n a public bathroom ever again.
tetil1027 1
**** you
promarkchris 6
a compliment's a compliment.
Michele2luv 8
that's exactly what I thought when I read this lol
YacL 15
At least he didn't look, laugh, then walk away.
ReptarRAWR23 0
I agree he could have pointed too!
starwarsguy330 0
i remeber that one!
crushedone 7
That's better than hearing it from some hoe you hooked up with, then wondering if she was just telling you that so you wouldn't feel bad about having tiny junk.
dakins 0
men always call women hoes. if she's sleeping with u say thank u and shut the f$@& up cause If ur as classless as to call HER names then u deserve a whole hell of a lot less. and if she's not sleeping with her and ur calling her a hoe is it any wonder y ur not getting any? disrespectful discriminatory sexist self-righteous @$$?!€£s.
crushedone 7
Hoe = ****. Could be a man or a woman. Not all women are hoes. As for "self-righteous"...you may want to re-read your comment.
mk58 31
Calm the **** down, 101.
CateXOX 0
18- If you "hooked up" with a girl, you're as much of a hoe as she is.
TheDrummingResul 0
Jeebus. Overly sensitive feminist, 101?
montagicals 0
Gentlemen
ReptarRAWR23 0
ummm sir not to be creepy but is that a cat under a blanket?
montagicals 0
Mine
ReptarRAWR23 0
Haha until u changed yes!
alexsmokesdro91 0
might be weird, but nonetheless still a compliment.
Nguyenydapooh 5
He broke man law.
sky_R03 12
There is no man law in **** town
BountyBass 13
big deal, u loved it