Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
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Top comments
Tyger44 1
"no,sir i think not.ER now"
Ikushka 3
No man and you aren't supposed to be asking me either
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Comments (148)
Tyger44 1
"no,sir i think not.ER now"
pronounciations 5
What the **** happened?
xCrazyWhiteGirlx 0
Am I the only one that notices "next to me" is written twice?
EvilPotato 15
1 Nope, I noticed.
LiveLaughFML 10
kill it with fire! kill it with firrrrrrre
zombicidal 11
maybe some STD or something or a lot of STDs like the man equivalent of a blue waffle
nava1210 12
I would have kicked it and walked away..
ShroomsOnAcid 17
17 Maybe the first "next to me" was referring to the urinal, and the second was referring to the guy? Nah, it's still repetitive.
fthislyfe 22
Haha I didn't notice it the first time. Weird...
DrDilllonReese 12
3- I'm assuming nuclear radiation or something cool
auzzrage 1
maybe his dick is normal yours is not? or he has an STI
Kyzahhh 7
Only after sleeping with a hooker in Thailand
krystal753 0
74 lmao :D
raphanne_fml 33
#74 Speaking from experience?
Daralea 21
Yes, auzzrage. The burning sensation when you pee is entirely normal.
enonymous 9
I'm still waiting on my answer... Is it supposed to look this way?
laneylovesu2 3
...Just go back in your stall and hope it doesn't touch you
gojira666 7
Id straight up sparta kick that ****** pervert in the chest
davidisbeast 12
#54 I hope you know blue waffles aren't real ...
hinchkongfang 0
Maybe he had an actual beehive on there!! Or was there just a lot of red pubes?? Either way, if it looked angry, run bitch run!!!
Kiirst_mt1994 26
scarred and awkward? LOL!
Glidefedt 6
I hopw you said yes..
Beeftinkle 13
I wonder how many "next to me"s can be put together before I realize there's more than 1
Beeftinkle 13
And ihop with you sounds delicious
abbybailey204 19
Why would you hope that???
yankfan89 27
Because that's how his looks and he wants it to be normal
MCRaddict 0
i really hope u said yes
LoveLife293 2
That's too disgusting...
kings1fan 6
Think he was just excited to se you
tittymagic 0
I can't imagine what it looks like in actual person, on a total stranger because I have seen pictures that have made me want to barf
False_Stupidity 42
^ like your picture.... :-0==={~}
Ikushka 3
No man and you aren't supposed to be asking me either
txgirl2013 14
Hopefully you told him to go to the hospital...
Beeftinkle 13
I ate a live cute puppy once
brianjman14 23
:O
auzzrage 1
38 you made my day
sonangedemusique 2
38: that's a fennec fox, not a puppy.
saIty 17
I wonder what kind of kinky things he did to get that. Or maybe he likes to walk around naked in his backyard and a bee stung it.
chubby_choco 17
You wonder? You're crazy. I'm specifically trying NOT to wonder how he did that to himself.
Buttsexpirate 9
Just say no.
Jamicianprince 1
Thats totally normal not ):
datoismyname 22
Awkward
ricinator 11
ew....