Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML
Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML
Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML
Today, I tried to quietly leave a public toilet at work without anyone noticing how long I'd been in there. The automatic hand dryer turned on as I walked past, making me jump so hard, I walked straight into the door. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
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Top comments
grogers311 20
That's one way to get a "********"...
zach205 24
Guess he was trying to get a ********
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Comments (111)
grogers311 20
That's one way to get a "********"...
zach205 24
darn you, 1, you and I thought of the same thing at the same time, but you beat me to posting. Glad I am not the only person who thought of that corny pun.
Attacksloth 33
This is a comment #1 done right. Came here for this, was not disappoint.
NatsuD_fml 13
he wanted that HOT mouth.
Demig0d6 14
That guy wanted to get his penis sucked dry
Smartdumbblonde 27
he likes it real hot
sweetest_jenn 18
Yeah, hope he wrapped it before he tapped it. Don't want little hand-dryers running around...
incoherentrmblr 22
Yew Anchor...
zach205 24
Guess he was trying to get a ********
Man_of_Manzanas 9
Too slow 2
zach205 24
yea, i was, oh well :p
EphMi 5
wait a minute. Which angle did you see him blow dry his penis from? if you see him from the back, he might accidentally got the front of his pants wet and need to dry it quickly to avoid looking awkward in public.
ohSNAPyall 27
And he avoided this awkwardness by practicing his pants-drying in the ladies' room.
mommy2cassidy 18
At least #1 and #2 posted that at the same time.
Ihavegas 22
guess he thought it was a unisex bathroom.
SirMichael 13
Read OP's name.
kyu_Q 19
Maybe the one in the men's room was not working
SirMichael 13
Yeah #17, a man's gotta blow dry his penis somewhere.
eloiserobertson 6
he was getting a good ******** with that
JKPwnage 27
Too slow, #4. Waaay too slow. [incoming Base64-encoded insult] SnVzdCBsaWtlIHlvdXIgZGFk
colby6666 43
Did he wash it prior to drying it? FYL.
zandalee 20
We can only hope... Perhaps he really likes the feeling of hot air blowing along his penis. Not having said penis, I'm curious. Would it feel nice per chance?
doctorhook86 25
#42: Probably about as nice as hot air against your ********.
zandalee 20
Well that's pretty nice... Thanks for that.
ohSNAPyall 27
#6 No, he was just a hot mess.
doctorhook86 25
#58: No problem. My advice is to blow dry your genitals in privacy, though, lest somebody catch you and post an FML about it.
zandalee 20
Rodger that Doctorhook.... No wait....
doctorhook86 25
#93: Seriously. I only did it once, on tiptoes in a ladies' public washroom, but somebody saw me, and now here we are.
zandalee 20
That's it. Am off to try this. You have enticed me good and proper.
hashshim 23
Quick question: why?
kyu_Q 19
Nothing like the feeling of warm hi-powered air on the penis
whyisitincapital 25
Because London
Smartdumbblonde 27
he obviously likes getting blow dried
IllestRated 17
I guess he used too much lube
worldclassrager 41
And being a woman makes this even more scarring
SirMichael 13
No, this should be pretty disturbing for anyone.
cryssycakesx3 23
*should* be...
XxDevilxXGt 26
This is nothing.. when my friend and I go to the gym (and years back the same thing happened when I was on the swim team), we walk in on an average of 5 naked old men in the pool locker rooms. I mean we really don't care because we know we're just animals and it's just another body part, and the old guys at that point dgaf, but that crap gets old real fast, I have to go to a happy place in my mind to get rid of all the cocks in my vision.
teyyoshi 19
dgaf ？
ishah 9
dgaf = don't give a (f-word)
SparkyRoxYurSox 16
Reason #37 why I don't go to public bathrooms.
MidnaLink 35
What are reasons #1- 36
Rallred32 20
Some include dirty toilet paper, breaking up homeless people having sex in the stalls, etc.
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
I voted FYL after reading the first sentence.
onlychildFTW 34
Yeah public bathrooms are disgusting. I never use them. Rather hold it then go.
AlwaysWatching 27
#53 yes the other person with their sad job
Edumcg 24
#41 You need to see Zombieland.
grapefruit_hd 7
He just wanted a ******** #13
OysterPearls 33
Alright, enough with the "********" puns...
warsun 27
Three minutes after the first one too. Shameful really