Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
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Top comments
Livinia 11
Would you rather him give you a random hand job?
alicianoar 7
Congrats on the big penis bro.
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Comments (331)
nickbucci1252 0
r u sure he did not say small penis and I highly doubt he even told u that
rainer13 11
better big than small
EmyB_fml 8
you should have yelled PERSONAL SPACE really loud
trollingyourfmls 0
thats the only person that will ever compliment you. or even see your dick. you should got it on right there. your gonna be foreveralone..
kufan1324 0
**** me?
jayson13_fml 8
I will!!!!lol jk
perdix 31
Careful, Jayson, look at her picture -- that chick's got crabs.
teh_uber_muffin 3
+100 To Perdix
kufan1324 0
hey honeys! and trust me, i have a ton of clothes. i just chose not to wear them most of the time. how can i **** with pants on?
lovin_darkness 0
OP, this is one of those times when you scream "Stranger Danger!" and get out fast
Consequences 0
So what? Someone who likes dick is impressed with YOUR dick. Be flattered.
perdix 31
Then why aren't you at Burger King, the Home of the Whopper?
ledzeppfan77 6
ha
wolffire222 5
LOL!!