Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, I was at a crowded restaurant and rushed to the bathroom. In my haste, I didn't notice I had walked into the men's room until I was washing my hands and a guy walked in, gave me a puzzled look, and said, "You're brave." FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
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Top comments
deeznutzismine 0
Don't you know the urinal rule of skipping one urinal? Your fault.
alpuppy 0
why has he seen so many penis'?
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Comments (48)
GhettoWangstuh 0
rofl that wouldve been epic
deeznutzismine 0
Don't you know the urinal rule of skipping one urinal? Your fault.
toaster468 0
ah yes, Man's golden rule.
liamk_26 16
Seriously and I don't think you should be standing far enough away that he can easily peak over and see it
chrisbeaudoin 26
Sometime there are only 2 or there might be other people.
kristin_fml 0
even I know about the unspoken pattern to picking a urinal rule and I'm a chick.
partytime4321 5
Hate it when there's only 2 or a lot of people
midnyte 0
So why was he peeking at your tool again? ....
alpuppy 0
why has he seen so many penis'?
schulzy16 9
He probably went to school where there is gym class and showers
Rollercoaster_fml 0
#12 doesn't understand...
greenfairy_fml 0
backs up my theory that all men are secretly gay.
Youser 0
I'm a man and I'm not gay.
imnutsss 0
woohoo! i agree! and she said "secretly gay", dude.
d_dh2310 0
#1.. would have been hillarioussssss
bigweber77 0
SUPER gay.
dirtygerbil08 1
Some people are so awkward. Urinal conversation is possibly the most awkward thing ever. I'm sure he was joking.