Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML
Today, I was cleaning up rabbit pee from the floor when my rabbit hopped up to me. To prevent her from standing in it and spreading it throughout the room, I shooed her away. She got such a fright that she jumped in the pee and spattered it all over my clothes and face. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML
Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
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Top comments
catatonicsleep 17
3 inch layer of dirt, shouldn't you have cleaned them out a long time ago?
Penrhyn 0
A guinea pigs pregnancy is 65-72 days...if this was the first time you cleaned it since you got them then you definitely deserve it. Also, I notice you live in QLD...you do know that there are approximately 300+ guinea pigs languising in Australian Cavy Sanctuary shelters in QLD right? And many more in the NSW + Victorian shelters. If you bred on purpose then you really deserve it.
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Comments (79)
myfriend_youfail 3
That's disgusting. A THREE-INCH layer of feces????? Go give that poor rodent to someone who actually knows how to care for cage animals, you incompetent bitch. How would you like to sit in a pile of your own waste? Guinea pig scat is relatively small. For there to have been a three-inch layer of the stuff all over the bottom of the cage, you must not have cleaned it for weeks, maybe even a month. God forbid you have a dog. You'd probably tie it up in the yard with a barbed-wire collar and leave it a bowl of water once a week...if you remember. HAH, or even worse, a cat. You'd probably clean the litter box once a month when the smell becomes unbearable. Some people just shouldn't have pets.
Peroxide 3
You do know some tribes in africa live in houses made from shit. One day im going to go there just so I can say "look at that shithouse". It will totally be worth the thousands of dollars needed to fly there. I don't really plan on doing anything else while im there. But yes, don't get a pet if you're not going to look after it. If only they would let me treat people like they treat their pets. There would be alot of retards tied up in the backyard with no food or water and dogs would run our banks.
hawkloverr 0
I've seen a "shit house" in Costa Rica. Of course, watered down, dried and constructed shit is a lot different than just festering in a pile of poop.
boatkicker 5
I'm thinking that 3inches included all the newspaper/whatever they used. Perhaps they had a lot of it in the bottom of the cage. I know I overfilled it once when I had a guinea pig..... of course, I was also 7, and my mom wouldn't help me with it. She told me it was my responsibility, but didn't tell me how to do it correctly. I learned eventually though. Sorry. I ramble sometimes.
canadiansparrow 0
I call bull. I once had a guinea pig have babies, and the mother is very meticulous about cleaning up evidence of the birth after. All I found were a few tiny specks of blood. It's to keep would-be predators from noticing a brand new litter of delicious mini piglets. There definitely wouldn't be some huge amount of "placenta and birth water", especially after she's already spatula-ed the crap (no pun intended) out of it.
Sdras 0
3 inches of guinea pig feces? I really don't ever want to see what your toilet looks like... Please listen to the other people here and donate all your pets to someone who really loves pets and can actually be bothered to look after his/her pets. And don't ever ever ever get another pet.
muichini 0
not all animals clean up. I had a dog one time that walked around giving birth and just looked at the sack and the puppy and wined from the pain. we had to break them and put the sacks in with her food, take a towel and clean the puppies and rub them to get them barking. it also too a few days before we could get her to lay down to nurse them and had to hand bottle nurse them. some domestic animals are not very good with birth also if there is that much shit in there then you need to give her up, that's sick. now if it was in a corner then I guess so, my rabbit manages to fill a small tote once a week with crap and he is about the size of a new born kitten. rodents are weird. but its only like and inch or half maybe, 3 inches is a lot, that would take weeks or months of not cleaning the cage. for the health of the baby you should have cleaned it constantly, thats dangerous for it to be born in that much bacteria
boatkicker 5
New born kittens are about the size of a fully grown mouse. You've got an awfully tiny rabbit. But kitttens grow really fast, Maybe you mean a few-week-old kitten.
Skull_300 0
I'm never getting shitfaced with you... What the ****?
dberri05 2
You idiot. Don't you know that most animals eat their placenta?
ColdGold 6
Karmic.
theeBeezWaXx 0
wth,what was your face doing so close to ther cage and waterhose.? and o3 inch layer of crap should of been cleaned along time ago.!
iloveloosy12 0
euuugh placenta. cows eat their births placentas