Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year-old clock. FML
Today, I proudly put on display the custom clock I'd spent 3 months building from scratch. It struck the hour and promptly fell off the wall, breaking my wife’s antique vase that she'd inherited from her great nana. FML
Today, I finally found out where my great-grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year-old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. When I went to shake her dad's hand, I broke his watch. FML
Today, my watch broke so I casually mentioned to my dad that I needed a new one. A little while later he hands me this really nice watch. He says, "Here, this one's been lying around for a while." It was the watch I gave him for Father's Day. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, I did such a bad job explaining the recent change from daylight savings time, that my 5-year-old son is now convinced that we're time travellers. FML
Today, I accidentally superglued my hand to my grandmother's ornate fan while trying to fix it. FML
Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML
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Top comments
airforce987 20
OP's username. I love it.
justmethough 8
How old is your son exactly..?
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Comments (110)
justmethough 8
How old is your son exactly..?
awsetdvcshjkgss 1
Did it work because if it did you could go back a fix it?
HowAreYouToday 34
Or even better, ride dinosaurs :D
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Or go back and try for more intelligent offspring.
BunchieRules 31
Young, I'd hope. OP, it's about time to teach your son how a clock works.
heygirlie777 21
Well, if he was young, why would OP let him handle a family heirloom?
OriginalimoaN 15
If he's under 5, that's kind of adorable. That could just be a girl thing though..
Zomg_Okay 27
62 - It says the son "got to" the watch. In other words, it was out of his reach but that didn't stop him, as is often the case with children.
tjv3 10
This is wine of those times that you as a parent should have weighed your son's responsiblity level and then taken the watch and put it up for safe keeping until such time that he was able to care for it properly
BunchieRules 31
62 - You make a good point. My previous comment was simply an attempt at another "time" pun.
lukep135 6
You mock your sun but he must've messed with the space time continuum considering Obama is president
airforce987 20
OP's username. I love it.
redpickle 1
An inspiration to us all...
s0m3guy2010 21
You can only do that if you hit 88mph.
DarthCory 7
Only if you can obtain the mighty yet mythical flux capacitor.
alec81484 3
And get 1.12 gigawatts
TourettesGuyFTW 26
And know an old guy called Doc
superswagbro 7
Don't let Bif get ahold of that magazine.
Inheritance 10
29 I thought it was jiggawatts.. Could be wrong
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Also, make sure nobody calls you 'chicken' and gets away with it. Very crucial.
michabailey 8
29: I think you mean 1.21 Gw, not 1.12.
honestyw 2
4: you picture goes perfect with you comment. Just saying.
Inheritance 10
53 and 'yellow'
s0m3guy2010 21
You can only do that if you hit 88mph.
s0m3guy2010 21
Damn it. My phone posted twice... or maybe I just have bad OCD.
BuffaloSabres134 8
Well, technically it makes sense
kikiray 3
Just like dr. Who
rattusrattus 19
Um, the Doctor uses his TARDIS to time-travel. The watch was used to store his Time Lord self when he needed to disguise himself as a human. And it's "Doctor Who", not "Dr. Who". A watch was used in another TV programme about time manipulation though! Bernard's Watch was on CITV in the late 90s and featured a boy with a magic pocket watch that could stop time.
Morifarty 5
Dundundundun Dundundundun Dundundundun dadadadadumdum wOOOWOOWOOOOOOOOOOOO WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWOOOOOOO /is slapped
Morifarty 5
...Did it delete the last line in my comment or is my iPod an asshole?
DarthCory 7
Hey 38, you're a "tardis". Buh dum tss.
hermitknut 22
Thanks for making Doctor Who fans look rude, #38. "Dr" instead of "Doctor" isn't that annoying, it's a reasonable abbreviation rather than a mistake, and #7 was probably just pointing out the time travel connection rather than saying that The Doctor uses a stopwatch to time travel.
lowshadows 21
actually I'd you all don't mind it's just The Doctor.
emilytdl 2
The watch is that old?
patacus 14
most quality watches/clocks (as in the ones you actually have to wind by hand, and don't run on batteries) are like that.
MissAmz 7
Obviously he's just a kid... I would take it, get it fixed and give it back to him when he becomes an adult. Hopefully he'll take better care of it then. ^_^
R3TROxLOV3 32
You never know with FML. Apparently, there are some parents with 18-20 year old sons or daughters who are pretty ******* stupid.
MissAmz 7
I suppose that's very true. :(
DocBastard 40
!1992 to back I'm far So .backwards type to is travel time to way only the that knows Everyone .idiot an is son Your.
XtraEzeee 8
All your backwards typing confused me and I accidentally thumbed you down. Sorry.
onlychildFTW 34
Yes it would 28.
brookig 10
Love your pit! Beautiful. Do they have a bad rap in Australia like they have here in America? I believe there are bad owners, not dogs. So sad! We have a pit. Grew up with our kids. Best dog we have ever owned, hands down. Our Chihuahuas bit but not the pit!!!
DocBastard 40
Brookig - A) It's a bulldog. B) The PM system exists for a reason, and it isn't just so perdix can get all his fan mail.
DocBastard 40
I'm constantly amazed at arrogant twits who continue to argue in the face of overwhelming evidence against them.