Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 2-year-old woke up from her nap with a full diaper, then decided to climb down from her bed and got stuck under the railing, leaving a stinky trail of poop everywhere. FML
Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML
Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML
Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML
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Top comments
pscool 11
Parenting 101 never leave your kid unattended without clothes on they can’t takeoff
TumblrweedPasses 11
Oh hell no, i could never deal with offspring yikes
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Comments (18)
pscool 11
Parenting 101 never leave your kid unattended without clothes on they can’t takeoff
SandMan344888 5
The floors are so full of crap ain’t they?
TumblrweedPasses 11
Oh hell no, i could never deal with offspring yikes
BurnInDemonFire 39
The Offspring rules. I mean their more recent stuff isn't as good as their mid-90s/early 00s stuff, but I wouldn't write them off, yet.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Not everything can be considered 'modern art'.
Charlie Given 28
So I see you have a little Poocasso your self😂🤣🤣 aww the Joy's of parenting both of my kids at least once managed to get out of clothes we thought they couldn't get out of and play with there poop🙄😒😏
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
You spent ONLY an hour cleaning? Sounds like it needs more than that.
Zekfen 17
I’m gonna follow the law of 6. If it took you one hour to clean up, it took your kid 10 minutes to do.
retailsuxa$$ 6
reason #253 of why i dont want kids
ncparry 18
What’s worth is you’ll never be rid of that smell until you replace everything, including the carpet and paint...I would know due to my son once ******** all over the wall while projectile vomiting on his brother when he got sick...
BEEEEES 15
Your child is defective, check the warranty to see if this is covered.