Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML
Today, I was cleaning up rabbit pee from the floor when my rabbit hopped up to me. To prevent her from standing in it and spreading it throughout the room, I shooed her away. She got such a fright that she jumped in the pee and spattered it all over my clothes and face. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML
Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
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Top comments
catatonicsleep 17
3 inch layer of dirt, shouldn't you have cleaned them out a long time ago?
Penrhyn 0
A guinea pigs pregnancy is 65-72 days...if this was the first time you cleaned it since you got them then you definitely deserve it. Also, I notice you live in QLD...you do know that there are approximately 300+ guinea pigs languising in Australian Cavy Sanctuary shelters in QLD right? And many more in the NSW + Victorian shelters. If you bred on purpose then you really deserve it.
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Comments (79)
WickedAngel 0
Well, if the OP bought a cage with a grate in the bottom, the placenta could've fell through and the mother wouldn't be able to reach it.
Penrhyn 0
you should never use those type of cages, they can cause terrible injuries to small animals. Broken legs and bumblefoot are the most common.
blastvortex 4
Wopz! xD
dsd_fml 2
ur nit supposed to clean the cage for a bit after they have babies
Penrhyn 0
Actually, with Guinea Pigs you can handle them from the moment they are born and the mother will not kill them. They are born fully furred with eyes open etc, pretty much mini versions of adult guinea pigs. They should be eating solid food within 12-24 hours of birth, though they will drink their mothers milk until they have to be weaned at 21 days.
MissKayla 2
Good one.. Funny story to tell the guinea babies lol
pinkkloverr 0
wtf? please tell me that spatula ISN'T the kind of spatula used for food! that just makes this fml twice as nasty if it was.
hahaha6 0
Umm... I'm going to guess that part of the 3inches of crap was the shavings or whatever was put down on the bottow of the cage..... and that it's not just all fecal matter.
Luckster 0
How the **** do you neglect a rodent long enough for a three-inch layer of shit to form!? As far as I know, you're suppose to clean their cages once a week! Don't get pets if you're not going to get off your ass and take care of them, bitch!
starshine3987 0
That's still a lot of crap. And guinea pig poop is little pellets which are usually hard and easy to clean up (sorry if describing guinea pig turds is tmi). If it was matted down three inches deep, with savings included, that still it a sign it's been there a while and the poor thing has probably had to sleep on it, thus causing it to be matted down. :(
musicislife1995_fml 0
YDI for being a tramp and allowing the '3 inch pile of crap' to collect
turquoisedolphin 0
i have guinea pigs, and you are supposed to clean the cage like once every week.
francinethepig 0
aren't they adorable?!?!
zen_fml 0
I can't believe you allowed a heavily pregnant guinea pig to give birth in those conditions. YDI. and I've had pet rats before, guinea pig shit on your face is NOT an FML. Go have a shower and in future treat your pigs better.