Nick
United States
Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Hillsboro, United States
Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML
Etta
United States
Peel
Today, I stayed home from work, feeling ill. Come lunchtime, I made myself some ramen noodles, thinking that the broth would feel good on my throat. Too bad I sneezed while carrying the bowl, dumping the boiling hot broth all down my front. The skin on my boob peeled away like tissue. FML
ke
United States
Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML
Anonymous
Clumsy
Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML
mwja
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
France
The gush
Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML
SkinsCastSelection
France
Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML
Anonymous
Date night
Today, I sneezed while eating a bowl of soup. As I did, a glob of carrot shot out of my nose like a missile, and I couldn’t stop laughing. My boyfriend, who was sitting across from me, wasn’t so amused when the glob splashed all over his white shirt. He’s now mad at me for “ruining his only smart shirt.” FML
Anonymous
Today, a fork hit me in the eye. I was holding it. I didn't even get to eat my chicken. FML
klutz
Canada
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
yankesik
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Kalisz, Poland
Excavation time
Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML
Top comments
angry_girl 0
you forked yourself ... who hasn't
maskedman 9
wow. was there penetration or was it like softcore ****?
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Comments (172)
strawberry6826 0
be thankful it didnt spill on your face n go up your nose. but fyl.
comedychick 1
LOL THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITES
brandon425 1
i POD touch...
PsychoMerk 0
lol xD **** the soup ;) cyanide! xD
vampyre_girly 0
Not being mean here or anything but I don't read twilight. I read the first book didn't like it. So just because I have vampyre as half my name doesn't mean I read that suckish book. Thank you very much.
vampyre_girly 0
And no that wasn't a win
mochi_fml 0
That's why you use chopsticks! ;D jkjk Hope you're alright and didn't poke yourself too hard there.
FYLD0UCHE_fml 0
So you're just a goth bitch who wishes she was a vampire?
vampyre_girly 0
I'm not a goth bitch. I'm a preppy bitch thank you very much. And I don't wish I was a vampyre. The names I kept choosing were already taken so I chose this one.
Tomaino 3
No one who spells vampire with a y doesn't want to be a vampire.
Sindyy 0
Could have been your eye.