Anonymous
Today, a fork hit me in the eye. I was holding it. I didn't even get to eat my chicken. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Nick
United States
Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML
Anonymous
Hangry dude
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Mouhahaa
France
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Anonymous
Suwanee, United States
Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML
Anonymous
United States
Out of control
Today, I accidentally stuck my thumb into my eye and scratched myself just under my eyebrow. I don't know why my hand was anywhere near my eye. FML
Anonymous
Rockville, United States
Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML
mildlyconcussed
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Somma Vesuviana, Italy
Great gig
Today, I went to a gig. The drummer threw his drumsticks out at the end and I managed to catch one. With my face. Not only did I get a black eye, but the person next to me snatched the drumstick from my hands. FML
anon
Paris, France
Impressed?
Today, I made eye contact with a very cute girl in a café just as I biting into a croissant. It crumbled so violently that a piece flew up into my eye. She just stared at each me in disbelief as I yelped and rubbed my eyeball clean. FML
ke
United States
Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML
ahuman
United States
Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
Top comments
Charlie Given 28
Damn that's really a forked up situation 🤣🤣🤣😂
BigSissy 14
I did something like that several years ago. I was just sitting in a chair when my hand involuntarily and suddenly flew up to my face and one of my fingernails dug into my chin so hard it bled. Never happened again.
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Comments (13)
Charlie Given 28
Damn that's really a forked up situation 🤣🤣🤣😂
slym12312425 9
horrible punnery, yet strangely satisfying.
BigSissy 14
I did something like that several years ago. I was just sitting in a chair when my hand involuntarily and suddenly flew up to my face and one of my fingernails dug into my chin so hard it bled. Never happened again.
abfab5300 13
Karma for eating dead animals.
TxKitten79 10
But dead animals taste so yummy. especially with barbecue sauce.
Charlie Given 28
And don't forget the A1, honey mustard,ketchup or seafood sauce animal's 🤤
AYana Nicole Hines 3
Whoa you aimed for the world like a newborn
childlessmother 16
I’m not even gonna ask how you managed that
RichardPencil 32
And all of the vegans are cheering!
Charlie Given 28
until the chicken ate their dinner's 😏
RichardPencil 32
Which is what will happen if we carnivores give up!
bubbat101 36
Sounds like you need an optometrist, to check your eye and your vision.
ViviMage 40
You and butter knife wounded poster should hook up and have lunch!