Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I accidentally stuck my thumb into my eye and scratched myself just under my eyebrow. I don't know why my hand was anywhere near my eye. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML
Today, I accidentally poked myself in the left eye. As I sat there in pain, my 9-year-old nephew, who we think has OCD, decided to help out by poking me in the right eye. FML
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML
Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML
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Top comments
lendmeyourteeth 0
geniuss
HanaxD 0
So much for being clever.
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Comments (74)
lendmeyourteeth 0
geniuss
Jrook 0
drunk you failed your own soberiety test
samay402 0
you are too freeeekin smart for life :P
JohnnyHobo 0
YDI for saying something as stupid as 'just using my noodle.'
irsmeagol 0
FML for reading......and responding.
DzCountingSheep 0
I agree.
spiderman0606 0
YDI for saying noodle.
Pigganon 0
I agree.
HelloAnna 0
My thought exactly.
sarahmarieee 0
Noodle is funny!
HoesInaBox 0
next time say "noggin"
ATwistedUpFrown 0
Agreed. And OP, you clearly weren't using your " noodle " there. :)
taylorlynn1125 1
Win.
HanaxD 0
So much for being clever.
bjcarson 0
YDI for being a fully qualified noob :)
BlueTwist89 0
Bahamas, your noodle is MIA!
BlueTwist89 0
Hmmm auto correct. Meant to say Haha.
Compass 0
As much as it sucks to get jabbed in the eye, how the hell can you do that? You should be able to touch any reachable part of your body, blindfolded, and on command.
polico_wolf 0
nah, I just did that, I touched my head with my index finger quickly and poked my eye with my middle finger's knuckle
pollenta 0
hahaha your an idiot. Thanks for making my shit night better with your stupidity.
HoesInaBox 0
yet another victim of the you/you're rule ^. YOUR stupidity has made my night alot better :)
TheDarkCynder 2
...yet another victim of the "a lot" spelling situation. two words, not one. also person with the rat, I love rats. :) I have two.
MetroidSlayer01 8
ydi, dumbass. funny though...