Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML
Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML
Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML
Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Ohhh she's going to **** you up. Teaching a little kid words like that, how ******* dare you?
juturnaamo 29
Accidentally stub your toe. Say Grosh! Or something equally silly. Act stunned and say 'Please don't tell your mom I said Grosh! Im in so much Groshing trouble...'
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Comments (108)
ChrisTheCalm 9
Time to become the evil babysitter and start beating the shit out of him to get your money. :) Or you can let him **** up your job your choice silver fox.
a_nutritionist 10
@70 i doubt he knew what **** meant before she said it too...its only fine because the parents dont know what it means. if they do, youre gefickt.
Daralea 21
Yeaaaaa, dealing with kids 101: make up silly but harmless swear words. ... or become like Ned Flandiddlyanders
42billybob 5
Sucks for you. I feel for you. I don't get parents these days. They seem under the impression you can actually keep kids from hearing words like that. As a result if they hear it, it's new, it's special, it's exciting, it's forbidden fruit, it's more important than any other word. Instead of chewing out anyone who exposes their children to a little thing called LIFE; they COULD just give up on the double standard. Don't actually say that by the way. The argument goes: "So you think it's OK for kids to hear that?" "No, that's not my point at all" (Only hears the "No") "Blah, blah, I'm more moral than you, blah, blah, bad influence, blah, Oprah/Dr Phil/Dr Oz/This book says, blah, somehow the fact that I pushed a human being out my snatch makes me infinitely wise, blah, blah, power trip." END (You can keep arguing but the conversation is over)
ast3150 13
16 - u owned
CooperDelton 0
U suck at parenting
Llama_Face89 34
You could always tell her what happened and apologize. She may be understanding. Of course she also may tear you a new one. Time to live on the edge I suppose.
HunterAlpha1 8
you've gotta be careful what you say around kids, they always pick up the bad stuff. words like penis, ****, and shit are just a few examples.
Sarojin 0
Explain that the kid saw a duck on TV and now you suspect he has a speech impediment. haha
PedoPancakes 7
Haha that'd be awesome to do! .-.
nateshannon1 4
you tell a kid not to do something or say something, he is gonna do it more. you are ******.