Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
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Top comments
aliyourpally 12
Well, we know where he learned it from.
_GoodGuy 11
The apple doesn't fall so far from the tree.
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Comments (130)
aliyourpally 12
Well, we know where he learned it from.
naxeeb 33
Who who? Surely not the mom, right? :P
friedpwnadge 25
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
\ 28
Like mother, like son.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Son of a bitch! Wait what? Yeah you heard me.
YUMMYFRENCHFRIES 16
You didn't need to point that out.
LeFrogDog 27
Some people's children
trucksfar45 7
I wonder if the childs mother learned that from her mother
Nydeira 11
I woulda slapped her and left.
_GoodGuy 11
The apple doesn't fall so far from the tree.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Except when an Apple-nado storms through town. Will my idea make millions, too? :D
Pwn17 25
What the hell are you talking about?
RoboCunnilingus 23
Got the reference. It was still bad.
evilplatypus 39
35 - They're talking about that stupid new movie Sharknado.
ScenicSubterfuge 39
Haha, that apple didn't even fall!
BntyHntrSeattle 30
I'll take that as a no... It's not my fault the media people have horrible scifi taste ;)
harrypotter4evur 15
But this apple must have gotten run over by a lawn mower or something.
asoptavlo14 6
What the hell is going on with this comment feed
RedPillSucks 33
Careful she doesn't cut your ass, cause snitches get stitches
lickastick 27
Snitches are such bitches..
Glitter_taco_ 10
Snitches are bitches that wake up with stitches in ditches
CallMeMcFeelii 14
This is the moment for OP to bring up his pimp hand and say "What the **** you just call me!?" Then slowly walk towards the exit, pimp hand still waving strong. Intimidating, yet a peaceful resolution with dignity still intact.
DKjazz 20
Snitches are bitches that wake up in ditches with stitches, but without britches, because they were catching while Mitch pitches.
Queensland 27
The time wasted on this thread....
patrickalamo 48
Trailer trash Where they head to the Jerry Springer show
NoMore_CoolNames 14
....What?
Warmonger_Smurf 29
As opposed to the more common entitled rich kids who have no rules.
misspulkadot24 17
Translation: Those people were trailer trash. Where were they headed to, the Jerry Springer Show?
WhoWhat_fml 10
I am not sure how to respond to this...
isallwaysme 27
then dont.
football98_fml 20
no wonder where he learns all those swear words from...
brebabee793 13
the child can't be better if the mom is going to not mind how she speaks around him.
doodlecloud 27
Agreed - my first thought was 'more like **** that kid's life'...he doesn't stand a chance...even schools can't help much if the mum is completely unwilling to support them.
isallwaysme 27
i advise not going back.if.you.dont have much patience
MakeTodayADTR 20
Stop with the excessive periods. That was painful to read.
drewflav 17
You shall like this period. Or that period. Or this period. Period. By the way, I did thumb your comment up 25. I'm just gently trolling you.
illkatt09 9
The period is right next to the spacebar so I doubt he did that purposely. He probably didn't proofread it before posting.
Queensland 27
Pressing that tiny button so many times as opposed to the long ass button is amazing 7. I've signed you up for Americas got talent!
isallwaysme 27
has anybody ever used android? the space bar on my phone isn't perfectly in the center, whereas the period is close to the center of the screen. but that is not an excuse for laziness. and you're right 77.
angelitared 27
Parentcunt of the year!!
salazara 10
what a nimmyhammer the mother is!
Queensland 27
A.... A what?
illegalbeagle69 23
A cotton-headed ninny-muggins..:o
cottoncandymango 17
Glad to know that it is because of the mom and not you!