Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "Hell". FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML
Today, my parents tried to apologize for wrongly grounding me. I told them to go fuck themselves, so now I'm re-grounded. FML
Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML
Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
I think the appropriate response to her would have been to say, “Next time I’ll just leave you in the ******* burning building.” Then walk out of her life forever. Am I playing the disproportionately escalating response game correctly?
Kris Phillips 3
Go to your room young man? And stay there?
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Comments (10)
Kris Phillips 3
Go to your room young man? And stay there?
RichardPencil 32
That's a pretty ******* lame excuse for saying **** when you shouldn't be saying ****. You should have the ******* self-control to reserve **** for important things like commenting at FuckMyLife.
Marcella1016 32
I think the appropriate response to her would have been to say, “Next time I’ll just leave you in the ******* burning building.” Then walk out of her life forever. Am I playing the disproportionately escalating response game correctly?
jfigley 5
Hahaha! Wow that comment is awesome. Thats hilarious....Perfect response
spinspinsugar 12
the house ****** burned down and all she cared about was you saying ****? for **** sakes!!
noporn4u 9
Keep spitting hot fire and you'll start another blaze!
icalledhisname 12
I think this is the most unique FML I have seen and I love it. Definitely FYL, OP. So dumb! The fire sucks then your mom’s reaction to you swearing sucks. If there’s ever an appropriate time to swear, that would be it.
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Yeah? Where the **** am I supposed to stay? My room is ash."
DanielleinDC 34
Given the whole pandemic situation, I don't suppose moving out is an option. And your mom should be grateful you both got out safely.
DarkAngelsBlade 25
Grounded in what home? Like Jesus **** you some parents are stupid.