Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the car shop called me and told me an 8 year-old boy stole my car and wrecked it. FML
Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML
Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML
Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my mom over the chores, and stormed out. When I returned later, I found the house had been egged. My mom told my dad she saw me do it, and he won't believe my side of the story. He says I'll be lucky if I see sunlight this summer. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML
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Top comments
drippingfaucet 0
smart kid
ugh_a_lug 7
he could lift a pumpkin onto your car?
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Comments (199)
PeacheS_88 0
That's funny as hell. But I would beat him and make him clean it up. I hate kids.
Selena_is_back 7
Grow up.
yuggi1 11
I don't hate kids specifically, but I won't have them either.
Selena_is_back 7
hahahaha don't make me laugh... you'll regret ever saying that.
Selena_is_back 7
lol true that!
yuggi1 11
Well not everyone. Someone women can't love their own child. They will see them and be like... "that "thing" ruined my life and it taking my spouse's love! " Plus some mothers kill their own kids. (ugh! >:( )
yuggi1 11
Sometimes* Ahem! -blush- I'm getting rusty.
yuggi1 11
#139, I agree. However, been a mom is just as psychological as physiological. Some women are just not prepared mentally- and never will be, so they end up hating their own offspring. :/
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Ugh, comments like 117 and 125 piss me off. "Childless by choice" couples can be perfectly content, just as parents can regret having kids. People who disbelieve or discount statements like "I'm not having kids" never seem to consider that maybe that person *can't* have kids, anyway, That's my situation. It sucks, but only because other people always assume things and make stupid comments. If I say I can't have kids, they put on the pity face and assume I'm all emo about it. If I say I don't want kids, I get a lecture about how "Everyone says that, but kids change everything, you're not an adult until you have them, they make your life worth living, blah blah blah." That, or they get offended because they want or have kids, and they feel the need to defend themselves (which is unnecessary, since I don't hate kids. I just don't want my own). And if I say I can't have kids and I don't want them anyway, they assume that deep inside I really do, and I'm just saying that to make myself feel better. Sorry, /rant. That attitude just drives me mad, and people don't realize how frustrating it is when they say crap like that. Especially because I can always sense what they're thinking. Gar.
QWERTYCommander 5
That's where you drop the kid off at a back alley in the worst part of town.
QWERTYCommander 5
.
zkchild 0
owned
OMGEVILTACOS 0
That's a great kid and adaniscool isn't a sick sick ******
OMGEVILTACOS 0
YDI for pissing off your kid. Once you become a mother your job is to cater to your child(ren) every whim until they are 18 then you kick their happy asses out the house. Still got ten years to go OP
OMGEVILTACOS 0
you're the one to tlk about spoiled
Selena_is_back 7
stop being such and attention *****... Adan is one of the coolest persons I know.
OMGEVILTACOS 0
Judging by your profile, you sir did not grow up fine w/o thise things
alexd375 2
YDI FOR LICKING UR OWN PENISHOLE!!!
bayonet 0
I would beat his ass until he couldn't walk
skyeyez9 25
Make him clean the mess, ground him and no trick or treating as punishment.