Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML
Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I woke this morning to my girlfriend asking me how many calories are in her deodorant. FML
Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
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Top comments
MerkathonPro 0
When I first read this, I saw "If she wasn't applying it to"... Is it wrong if I thought crotch first?
gunmania0 12
There are two ways you can get herpes... just don't let her give you a Blowie...
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Comments (94)
andrewsgirl2010 7
Id throw away that deodorant now....
hateevryone 15
you're dating an idiot.
theonlysweetpea 10
That triflin bitch gots to go! I really mean it. I'm all for supporting people with diseases but not when people keep it from you in a you-need-to-know way.
theonlysweetpea 10
#95 It's called oral herpes
Phendraana 0
something like 90% of people have some strain of herpes whether they've had an outbreak or not. she probably didn't tell you because cold sores are so common that she didn't think it was a big deal. and its NOT, just don't let her go down on you till it clears up.
22JB 11
Might want to let that one go. Who knows what else she puts in her mouth.
Calyx_fml 22
Herpes is forever. She was hiding it from you. Dump her.
beckyxD 13
I hope it was just a cold sore...
calibaaby 0
I actually looked it up and it held for cold sores... Not herpes.
medic11b 0
OP, please do not take medical advice from random people on the Internet! SEE A DOCTOR! And on a personal not the whole putting used deodorant in your mouth thing is just disgusting, regardless of possible benefit.
kaykay20 0
Some people are educated enough to help in this issue. It's better to stick with actual cold sore ointments then deodorant though. As I said earlier the doctors tests won't always turn up positive. It's easier to tell and be sure when they get a outbreak. Depending on what type it is theirs medication they can provide to lessen the outbreaks.