brownunderwear
United States
Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Two speeds
Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML
Well Shit
Rickmansworth, United Kingdom
Leftovers
Today, I had a really big, satisfying shit in the loo of a pub several miles from home. After getting back to my table, my stomach rumbled, and, assuming it was just gas, I let it go. What followed was approximately a litre of brown water, soaking my underwear, jeans, and chair, and dribbling onto the floor. FML
Joe Shmoe
Vancouver, Canada
We almost made it…
Today, I really really needed to poop. I held it hard. I held it really hard. I pooped my pants. FML
mysidesaresplitting
Oxford, United States
Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Great timing
Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML
what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god
Singapore, Singapore
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
Anonymous
Brisbane, Australia
Always wear camo gear
Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML
Anonymous
Shitty situation
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Top comments
akagopher 7
TMI
Eyams 0
At least there was no plasma?
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Comments (92)
akagopher 7
TMI
gamercanadian 11
Now I can't get this shit outta my head, screw u op
frokeyman92 9
Agreed^^
sr101998 0
This isn't an fml it's a "shit" story. It has nothing to do with a F my life deal.
deviable 9
I though most FMLers loved to hear about shit happening to others. Pun most definitely intended.
number0 8
Wow! You farted and took a crap! Your life must clearly suck, OP.
nerdness 2
* insert pun about shit here* I bet there's someone bound to make that comment!!
Susieee_Q 9
Bahahaha. OP's name is hilarious. And, might be too much information.... But let's face it. Happens to the best of us. (:
AnonymousTroll 2
What about plasma?
eyeIoveyou 4
congratulations, you have now made the elements of "matter." consider yourself special :')
st0815 9
On the one hand: TMI - on the other hand there is some information missing. E.g. who moderated this shit? About the most boring FML I've ever read.
Jakesterk96 8
Someone has to lay off the taco bell...
qtips402 7
how is this a fml?
Dawnxxoo 11
agreed with #1 too much freaking info
yumlicious 4
Then GTFO. Go visit givesmehope.
ArchxAngel 9
I don't get it. #1 gets all these likes, but then #4 types the same thing & everybody hates on him ?
allen2688 6
That's nice....
kidwiththeface42 7
At least you made it to the toilet... Hopefully?
shireeniee 8
OP's username indicates otherwise :p
beccac_boresfoff 9
Did it happen in your pants..? (Referring to the name)
Eyams 0
At least there was no plasma?
RaquelW 7
fireass.
GP14brBaller 5
Or a base-einstein condensate
zombicidal 11
I was looking for this
orebes 3
You forgot about plasma.
MerkathonPro 0
Saves money on painting your toilet brown...
baconstrips 12
Seriously, wtf
cosmosis 12
Who in their right mind would want to paint a toilet brown?
Miss_Trejo 5
I'm quite surprised no one has made a "shit happens" comment yet.
marmlr339 14
You mean a "shitty situation" comment
corleon198425 22
Sounds like your john tasted the rainbow and I'm not talking about skittles
EmmyBabe_fml 0
What the hell are you talking about?
06dopey 8
we will never know
cosmosis 12
Shit is meant to be brown. Youve been eating too many skittles if your seeing rainbows out ur ass