Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML
Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I woke this morning to my girlfriend asking me how many calories are in her deodorant. FML
Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
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Top comments
MerkathonPro 0
When I first read this, I saw "If she wasn't applying it to"... Is it wrong if I thought crotch first?
gunmania0 12
There are two ways you can get herpes... just don't let her give you a Blowie...
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Comments (94)
raaacheel 4
She's a keeper..
hello_kitty_lovr 1
does that mean she has herpes? cuz in that case Good Luck!
scrework 6
^ My previous comment was in reply to #16.
cunningchick 1
Maybe ur doderent smells tht good.......?
ultra_notorious 26
better make sure she keeps those lips off of your hog
oneuppitynegress 0
Oh damn
Fylminesawsome 5
The gift that keeps on giving
michelleh1778 0
At least its only on her mouth... Lol.
omggtfomi 1
Okay everyone of you are ******* dumbasses. there are 8 types of herpes. Types 1 and 2 are obvious and as all of you are mistakingly wrong are NOT the same virus. Type 1 causes mouth sores and can cause genital herpes. Type 2 causes genital herpes and can cause mouth sores but the virus cannot survive outside of the body for very long. Type 3 causes chicken pox and shingles. Types 4 and 5 cause mono. Types 6 and 7 cause roseola. Type 8 is found in tumors of those infected with aids. Google it
shankle1234 0
Dddaaaammmm