Today, my dad caught me vaping. From the volume of his yelling, you’d think he caught me sniffing cocaine out of a prostitute's ass crack. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, I ate fruit for a snack before I left to visit my mom. When I arrived, she accused me of vaping because I smelled like fruit. I'm also 27. FML
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, one of my friends blew a giant vape cloud and the principal saw and called us into his office. We blamed each other, so the principal checked both of our backpacks. Apparently, my friend snuck his pen into my bag somehow. I don't even vape. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for using legal marijuana to help treat my potentially terminal cancer, which is kind of hypocritical for the man who spent significant portions of my childhood in jail for selling cocaine to rich high school kids. FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my mom caught me vaping weed oil and tried to ground me. I’m 33 years old, with my own wife and kids, weed is legal in this state with a medical card, and I use it to treat the seizures I’ve had since mom belted me around the head as a kid, giving me brain damage. FML
Today I’d been saving a weed cigarette, which is legal where we live, until my parents went on holiday. I had just sparked up when they came back home after dad forgot his passport. The lecture I had to endure went on for so long, I think I’d have preferred an old-fashioned beating. FML
Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML
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Top comments
WhataStrangeTripThisIs 24
How old are you? Just curious because it does make a difference if you are dependent or not. Once I became an adult I did very little to appease my parents. My life, my choices, if I fall on my face well then maybe I had a lesson to learn.
mattiagardin 15
Yeah he's right. Many things are unhealthy, you should at least look cool doing them
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Comments (8)
macone 30
Sniffing cocaine would at least be cool.
mattiagardin 15
Yeah he's right. Many things are unhealthy, you should at least look cool doing them
Anderling 33
At least we understand the risks of cocaine and a baggie of white powder is unlikely to explode with zero provocation.
WhataStrangeTripThisIs 24
How old are you? Just curious because it does make a difference if you are dependent or not. Once I became an adult I did very little to appease my parents. My life, my choices, if I fall on my face well then maybe I had a lesson to learn.
RichardPencil 32
"What the **** is wrong with you, kid?? You snort the blow from between her *******!"
Hangryko 32
You want to smoke at home, do so when you move out.