Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML
Today, my dad caught me vaping. From the volume of his yelling, you’d think he caught me sniffing cocaine out of a prostitute's ass crack. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
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Top comments
piedpiper303 29
The broke teens guide to getting high
Welshite 40
You've been sniffing pen ink again, haven't you?
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Comments (96)
Meaniebobeanie 26
Did you look inside the pen? I bet you he had some weed in it. Easiest (albeit unhealthiest) one hitter ever. Either that or he saw someone else doing it and didn't realize that there were drugs in it.
sweetbliss3 37
if it had weed or any other drug in it, im sure the post would go more like "today, i walked in on my son smoking weed 'or other drug,' out of a pen. fml"
Axel5238 29
Did the OP recently have a mid life crisis and found their kid smokes pot?
Uglyfeet 23
Dear Mr. wah wah "you raised him", if your son had the idea of sniffing fumes to get high, maybe he was already high... non-high people wouldn't have tought of that, trust me
ChelzTheWolfGirl 29
Well at least you don't have to worry about paying for college...
billiejoe7 10
He should have just raided the medicine cabinet... Or maybe he did and was unsuccessful and that's what led to the pen? Kids are weird
RomeyRich 22
haha lol wat happened to sniffing glue?
lizziemo79 18
Turn down for what
AcidInMybrain_6 0
He will get high - while burning some brain cells...
Ziggy122 15
It's not always the parents' fault. Some kids are just stupid.
phoenix72 9
I read "pen" as "penis". A slightly more worrying and painful experience than the original FML.
oddities 20
A lighter and a pen? I have never heard of a more ridiculous way of "getting high." Not even from my 4 year old cousin. Does he not have Sharpies or glue, at the very least? I mean, trying to get high isn't a good idea in the first place, but he can at least do it correctly. He has the internet. He should've at least Googled it or something. Your son is … I don't even know what to call that, really. It's just … Idiotic. Pathetically so. How old is he? His age will either make this less pathetically idiotic or more pathetically idiotic so it's important.
Kergami 18
Thank you for that Lesson.