Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML
Today, my dad caught me vaping. From the volume of his yelling, you’d think he caught me sniffing cocaine out of a prostitute's ass crack. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
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Top comments
piedpiper303 29
The broke teens guide to getting high
Welshite 40
You've been sniffing pen ink again, haven't you?
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Comments (96)
mybubbles2000 13
He needs help. Especially if he's looking for ways like that to get high.
middlenamefrank 8
Lemme guess...he's a gullible and rather slow child and has a smarter, impish younger sib?
Thatguy334 7
Tell him to smoke the little papery part of a peanut
piece73 6
You might want to tell him the only thing he's inhaling is dioxin, which is toxic and can kill him.
RP0027 3
give him a pill that makes him really drowsy and dont feed him for the next 2 days lol and tell how ya feelin??? lol dont do that... be glad he aint screwin around with needles and crap
lannisters 9
cancel the cable....
Lang88 13
Congratulations you have raised a dumbass. Parenting fail. Tell him next to go snort dish cleaning powder or baking powder.
yuzuru_fml 12
I don't understand why he wants to he high , he is already high enough ..
Tiger1992 8
You deserved it for not establishing a better no drug policy. While you can be friendly, you need to be a parent and make sure he understands the severe consequences to using any form of drug. Including household items
sammyjo06 14
Pretty sure it's because there was a no drug policy that the kid turned to using a lighter and a pen :P.
eskimoswifey 4
DYING