Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML
Today, my dad caught me vaping. From the volume of his yelling, you’d think he caught me sniffing cocaine out of a prostitute's ass crack. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
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Top comments
piedpiper303 29
The broke teens guide to getting high
Welshite 40
You've been sniffing pen ink again, haven't you?
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Comments (96)
darbmutat 12
I'm thinking it'll all literally be an uphill journey from here... Good luck.
mosquito19 14
he's gonna discover paint and glue eventually if he's not stopped now.
sunnyray812 42
Love that username because that's what the majority of FML'ers would comment on here. :/ Some people don't seem to know that children do have a mind of their own.
TrinityNevada 11
Sort of like the little girl in a previous post who was trying to smoke a spoonful of baking soda or something. Maybe she and your son can have children together! (Oh, wait, bad idea)
vlalam 24
I wanted to say "please don't reproduce" but I guess it's too late...
cryssycakesx3 23
OP didn't make his son do it...
bellles 18
I'm sorry, but that is just mental haha . Poor kid .
avidreader121 7
I see a grounding in his future?
worldclassrager 41
Well the plastic would do something bur it's a good thing he can't from there...
dingostacy 14
What is he inking? That's crazy. Who gave him this idea?
Alextricity 3
YOUR SON NEEDS TO BE HIGH...on education.