Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
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Top comments
Mademoiselle_fml 34
I kinda want to know how old both of you are... maybe she's trying to give you a hint to move out ;p
supportcommand 17
Your mom sounds classy. Next time you're sitting there channel surfing, think about where that remote may have been.
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Comments (144)
totheforest84 4
Your mother is crazy and will never understand.
supportcommand 17
89- why did you put a weed grinder on your dogs head?
geod69 8
Next time knock
DCvRkey2012 7
Where in the living room is a place to knock?
KiddNYC1O 22
Is she an Internet model? She must be getting a lot of tips...
ishha14 4
Gah. THIRD TIME?!?! Jesus you poor soul.
dj8798 9
I was not rubbing one out! oh... you didn't mean me? lmao. move out if you don't pay the rent.
Metallica36176 16
Ew. But maybe she's trying to hint she wants the house to herself. Sit her down and ask how she would feel if you did that...or got someone and had sex in the living room. My main question is: Why?
benmec 18
What's she masturbating to? A hot gardener outside?
dougiewhale 6
Johnny bench called, he wants his catchers mitt back.
Android24 1
See, that's the funny thing about it being HER house. She can do whatever she wants in it. Don't like it? Get your own place, assuming you're old enough to. Otherwise, quit telling her what to do in her own house.
greeneye_fml 12
And how do you know its his mom's house and not the OP's? And you should have common sense about masturbating. Even if its YOUR house, would you jerk off in front of guests you had over? I didn't think so.
onorexveritas 24
Ohmygosh I would die