Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
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Top comments
Mademoiselle_fml 34
I kinda want to know how old both of you are... maybe she's trying to give you a hint to move out ;p
supportcommand 17
Your mom sounds classy. Next time you're sitting there channel surfing, think about where that remote may have been.
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Comments (144)
person961 9
Kinky, but gross.
isaiaah 6
It's his mother, what is kinky about that??
dogpfcorn 11
That is stating one obvious fact : your dad sucks in bed and the fact you were born is a miracle
Tidus0 17
That or his/her dad doesn't last long :P
TheBrownBaller 2
Or she was in the mood and his dad wasn't home
daydreamer244 13
Well at least....you know i can't find anything positive in this situation....
Ugi 27
Sounds like your mother is trying to "reclaim" her house! There have to be less disturbing ways to do that, however. Maybe you should start coming home with some friends without warning. That might make her think twice about what she does in the shared areas of the house! It's a bit of a nuclear option, however, because if she carries on regardless then you could be in for an embarrassing encounter!
Disobey_fml 13
I dont know about you, but i wouldn't let my friends see that
Ugi 27
I wasn't meaning bring friends to see, just bring them so she knows she might get caught another time. However, there is a risk involved.
perdix 31
Your explanation doesn't trump "my house, my rules." Next time you "catch" her, just quietly retreat back to the place whence you came. After she's taken care of business, then you can go to the living room. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody's happy.
Ugi 27
Normally I would agree with the "my house, my rules" approach but this is just too close to sexual abuse. If she wants to use the living room for such things then she needs to get a lock fitted.
RedPillSucks 33
Next time OP catches her "In flagrante delicto", have one of those spray bottles of water and spritz her, like one would a couple of coupling cats. Make sure you yell "Bad mom. Bad!!!", for effect.
Enslaved 38
Sounds like your mom is going through an exhibitionist stage.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Or maybe she just wanted to rub one out? That's a more logical reason!
bambertaylor 0
They're both logical explanations
LuckyLynx7732 5
Am I the one who thinks this sounds like to beginning to a really twisted porno?
iamabamf 17
Yes.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Well, we know what kind of **** #27 watches..
walmartpaysme 15
If by "porno" you meant "torture" then yes we can all agree this sounds like an appropriate method of torture.
jerzey1313 0
Ewwww. That's just gross FYL
spaija 8
how old are you? why don't you just leave and live on your own in your own place where you can set the rules?
dog1999 2
Mom-Ohhh ya Child-wtf! I said stop that last time Mom-but feels do good Child- cause your going to go blind, seriously it's like dealing with a 5 year old.
SonOfAMitch 14
Stop.
DCvRkey2012 7
You had to think of a scenario, seriously? Yuck!