Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML
Today, I was confiding in my grandma about how lonely I am and how everything in my life seems to be falling apart. While I was in mid-sentence, she rolled her eyes and made a show of removing her hearing aid. FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML
Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said, "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML
Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML
Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML
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Top comments
nanaprincess 7
quit whining. she obviously needed your help. grow up.
KELSEYJOHNSON23 5
She was probably embarrassed to ask you for help too, I'm sure she wasn't excited about it either.
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Comments (120)
alexh15 13
Crap situation
blacksswan 10
Wow! You should be ashamed of yourself. She is your grandmother and I am sure way back she changed plenty of your dirty diapers. Instead of complaining be thankful you have grandmother. Some of us would kill to have ours back.
mazzah 0
well said!
XmyviolentheartX 13
Shut up and help her out you inconsiderate douche. Sorry excuse for a grandchild. I help my grand-mom with whatever she needs.
MerNoEngrush 0
Both my grandparents have Alzheimer's, I wish I got to know them better, they don't remember me at all, atleast you have a person too look up to!
fml_ydi79 15
Sorry about your grandparents 17. Alzheimer's is a heartbreaking condition that unfortunately affects too many :(
Alexisthebestest 16
My dads stepfather had Hodgkin's Disease. By the time I came around he was unable to walk, feed himself or talk. I wish I had gotten to know him and have a conversation with him. I don't even know my dad's real father.
Joshawott 21
My Mum has a colostomy bag and despite her ill health she does it by herself. Honestly, if the OP's grandmother is at such a physical state where she can't change her bag by herself, maybe she needs a carer? Still as others have said, it must have been a huge thing for to her to ask you - I'm sure she'd much rather have had the dignity to do it herself if she could. Also, if you throw up over the thought of changing a colostomy bag? >>
123_omg 19
Maybe she is still able to change her own colostomy bag, but thought of taking advantage of a little help while there was somebody available to help her.
jedielf 23
Hey, she's family, Yes, life does suck that these things have to be done, but we do it because we know it sure as hell ain't fun having to ask for help with this.
Steve95401 49
Some women have complained about colostomy bags because it's difficult to find shoes that match.
ArcadePie 10
The way this is written makes me want to shit in ops mouth
lerthox 8
Oh stfu everbody, no one wants to help a grandma change a colostomy bag, it's gross
poorjudgement 26
I'd rather be in the situation where I should do that, than in the situation where I shouldn't because I don't have grandparents. Of course, everyone should be happier to have completely healthy grandparents, but if that is not a possibility, we still shpuld love them and be there for them.
leadman1989 16
REALLY you guys? Changing a colostomy bag is disgusting no matter how much you love that person... and seeing as op vomited they can't really be blamed for not liking or wanting to do it.
poorjudgement 26
As someone already said - changing baby dippers is also disgusting, but someone was doing that for us, aside of our mothers most likely our grandmothers.
Okayitwasme 0
You Need to get a cat or something. We all barf, fart, shit, piss, drink, and eat. This is nothing new! I wonder if you ever thought what that poor grandma would feel if she seen what her granddaughter wrote?
leadman1989 16
49. Really? Well I hope you're in this situation one day... I hope a lot of you are in this situation on day be cause it's easy to SAY one thing for thumbs ups but another to actually do it.
ShyAnn29 15
I can say it's really not that gross, because I have an ileostomy bag, it's very similar to a colostomy bag. A colostomy has to do with the colon, an ileostomy has to do with the small intestine