Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband came home from a six-month business trip. When I saw him, I hugged and kissed him. My grandma started calling me a slutty whore, and told us we were a disgrace to our family, while trying to hit him with her cane. FML
Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
Today, I got an unexpected call from my ex who I'd had been missing. He repeatedly called me a whore for having multiple hotel rooms in the last couple of weeks. I had them because I got a promotion at work and have been working out of town frequently. FML
Today, my entitled brother-in-law called me unannounced as I was having lunch and asked if I had food for him and his wife. I said, "The food I have at home will only be enough for my husband." Now I'm the villain for not cooking enough for sudden unexpected mealtime visitors. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
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Top comments
KaraShinee 0
how ungrateful
Bobissmall 13
So you spit in her food next time. Or maybe put some "white substance" on the plate, who knows where it could have come from, you are a ***** after all...
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Comments (95)
KaraShinee 0
how ungrateful
planbsponserme 2
tell your husvand. he may feel sympathy for you.
Mumbellosity711 0
smack a bitch
sylvialerree 0
husband
Skroal_stomper 5
Maybe Grandma was saying you must be sore.
jewban 3
i wouldn't be surprised...shes a HIPster now... get it?! hahahahha
KingDingALing 9
^ Boooo. :p
sloppyflow 1
#34 what sore? Private sore?
iSitt 0
if her husband is 30-40 then his grandmother could be 80-90. does she have dementia? At that age, hip surgery could take many weeks to two months to heal.
crudeandrudeguy 29
It's obviously time to start doing very nasty things to her food... And don't forget to smile
number1dukie 0
you are
mitri_fml 3
says the person with no display picture
Nonon_fml 0
says the other person with no display picture (and says this person with no display picture......)
Star928 7
Says the other person with... Ok stop this shit.
ashorina 0
wow, rude and ungrateful!
Bobissmall 13
So you spit in her food next time. Or maybe put some "white substance" on the plate, who knows where it could have come from, you are a ***** after all...
danii_s2 0
make her put her shoes on herself from now on. the flexion of the hip should be enough to make the hip pop out :p
caguilar21 0
Old people are weird :P And 3rd!
ihatemylife1007 0
not to wreck your dream of being 3rd on a FML but your 5th not 3rd
nathan5 0
Ive got to give it to you, not many people aspire to be third in life...and fail at that goal
joseph42424233 0
1st is the worst, 2nd is the best, third is the one with the treasure chest.
SmallTownCutie 0
39- I've always said hairy chest(:
goddessallison 0
wow fyl! :(
happykate120 0
put something in her food next time. thatll learn her
abbeymcnally 0
Sorry, that error was too much for me to bear. That'll *teach* her.
PipXanadu 4
@47 depends where you're from... some people say learn instead of teach... it's proper grammer for their location. :)
PipXanadu 4
@47 depends where you're from... some people say learn instead of teach... it's proper grammer for their location. :)
ThreeSheetsGone 12
That's what you get for trying to be a good person. From now on, slip a little "surprise" into her food. She won't be calling you a ***** when the ipekak gods have her hunched over the porcelain throne for half an hour.
traze 7
damm you beat me to it in a wordy way.
traze 7
Add laxative to her meal. That will show her who's a *****.
KittehSayzRAWR 0
HAHAHAH!
skyeyez9 25
Call her out on it and do NOT cook anymore for her. Let the bitch starve. You dont need to put up with her verbal abuse.