Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML
Today, I was confiding in my grandma about how lonely I am and how everything in my life seems to be falling apart. While I was in mid-sentence, she rolled her eyes and made a show of removing her hearing aid. FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML
Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said, "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML
Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML
Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML
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Top comments
nanaprincess 7
quit whining. she obviously needed your help. grow up.
KELSEYJOHNSON23 5
She was probably embarrassed to ask you for help too, I'm sure she wasn't excited about it either.
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Comments (120)
Omega_Mus 7
Shit happens.
goomonk 2
I like turtles
perdix 31
"No, Grandma, I won't be a dear. I'm going with selfish bitch on this one." But, it sounds like a great diet plan: bulimia in the service of others.
Scands_59 14
It's gross but, people need help sometimes, my grandad passed away from acute Leukemia and he was too old for chemo therapy so we tried our best to help him but 2 weeks after he was diagnosed with it, he died :'( Treasure your grandparents, they have a huge influence on your life.
ZXDriver 0
FHL; 'magine how she feels?
max400 0
Why was this lunch so "fabulous"? :/
chelseaaababyyy 17
makes me think Op is sorta stuck up.
Strafeh 9
FYAttitude YDI
hateevryone 15
well, so much for that.
tinydanzr 6
What does colostomy mean?
ohmandapants 17
Google is a great thing. Use it.
tinydanzr 6
Haha. Your hilarious.
ohmandapants 17
I wasn't telling a joke, but thanks!
Bcfrmkc816 17
Ya maybe you lost that lunch but stop and think how bad your grandma has it be thankful she is still alive and you are able to help her
zuzupetalsYO 11
Especially if OP is living with her grandma.