Today, I've been recovering for a week from my medically needed circumcision. I'm 30, and they advise you wear essentially a jock strap for the first week to help. It wasn't too bad until I went to take the thing off and it caught a stitch on my manhood. That's the most unique pain ever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML
Today, I got a serious infection following a medically necessary circumcision, and my doctor told me they will probably have to remove even more of the skin where the infection is particularly aggressive. My knob is gonna look like Freddy Krueger's face on a bad day. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Today, I just got home from hospital after delivering an order of razor wire. One of the razors split my trousers and my sack open, my bollock was visibly hanging out of the giant slit in my sack and I had to go get it stitched shut. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
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Top comments
rebeccabyram 15
Well that gives new meaning to the term 'yanking it'!!
airdude25 18
Oh my god! I could only imagine... I'm so sorry OP!
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Comments (54)
airdude25 18
Oh my god! I could only imagine... I'm so sorry OP!
xKrisSmoove 21
Don't...don't try to imagine
rebeccabyram 15
Well that gives new meaning to the term 'yanking it'!!
Armeniangirl_fml 15
meant to like it, sorry!
LevelupKid 8
No one says "yanking it"
creditless 14
Ouch! Gives new meaning to staying in the "hood"
Lalala579121 28
Except that OP is no longer in the hood.
irishmaiden78 23
Ouch, ouch, ouch!!! Quick healing OP!
interesting33 37
Unique... so unique
Lorex 13
Interesting they didn't tell me that when I was 16 for a similar medical reason. They just dosed me with heavy pain meds and said good luck.
andrmac 25
Probably because you could have someone take care of your all your basic needs. Where he would have to still make meals, go to the store, get gas, clean up after everything if he single. Adulting means being passed out on pain meds for 3 or so days and waking every now and then for someone to bring you food isn't going to happen unless someone is willing to do that. He does need to go back to work at some point. You can missing school for several days for medical needs, but you do run out of sick time and short term disability does not pay you full pay check dollars.
Odin1624 12
You are a braver man than I, I would have killed myself after feeling that pain
gamermonster 34
And give your family lots of pain?
LyricaSilvan 30
Okay, I know that area is extremely sensitive for guys, but that's going a little too far.
Lalala579121 28
I really hope you're joking.
AceGthebest 16
Haha suicide joke, so funny
slick5880 22
Very few FMLs make me cringe the way this has. I hope you heal fast.
Brandi_Faith 34
I'm a girl and I cringed. The idea of a stitch getting caught on anything makes me cringe, but on private parts, ahh {shivers}. Hope you heal quickly op!
vikky538 29
I literally cringed when i read this. I feel ya bro!
XWarriorYZ 2
This hurt me just reading about it...