Today, I've been recovering for a week from my medically needed circumcision. I'm 30, and they advise you wear essentially a jock strap for the first week to help. It wasn't too bad until I went to take the thing off and it caught a stitch on my manhood. That's the most unique pain ever. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML
Today, I got a serious infection following a medically necessary circumcision, and my doctor told me they will probably have to remove even more of the skin where the infection is particularly aggressive. My knob is gonna look like Freddy Krueger's face on a bad day. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Today, I just got home from hospital after delivering an order of razor wire. One of the razors split my trousers and my sack open, my bollock was visibly hanging out of the giant slit in my sack and I had to go get it stitched shut. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
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Top comments
rebeccabyram 15
Well that gives new meaning to the term 'yanking it'!!
airdude25 18
Oh my god! I could only imagine... I'm so sorry OP!
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Comments (54)
RichardPencil 32
Once I read "medically needed circumcision," I knew that pain was a foreskin conclusion.
clemsi 20
A tip of the mushroom cap to you good sir.
ThrottleJockey 36
"Foreskin, oh Foreskin! Why has thou forsaken me?!"
LyricaSilvan 30
Oh god...I'm female and even I cringed at that thought. You poor soul. I hope you're feeling better now.
samlovesham1234 9
Another female here, and I just crossed my legs reading this. YEOUCH indeed!
Ms_Monster 6
Oh, you poor soul. I don't have a penis, but I that still makes me cringe.
LyricaSilvan 30
Really, 17? You just reworded my comment.
Ginwa 7
Does it really matter?
gracehi 33
On a scale of 1 to 10, our pain is a 6 just reading this.
Dictionaryspeaks 18
No plz no never say this. I beg you to never share this with anyone just concentrate and you should be able to disappear and this event will ripple out of time and out of all our minds. I beg of you
NightKat 25
What kind of backwoods drugs are you taking?
Goblin182 27
Most cringe worthy FML ever
Thoughtfulelf123 3
Oh my go9dn3ss that's awful.. but I have to ask... What medical reasons do men developed that require them to be circumcised?
CharybdisClan 15
Phimosis and paraphimosis are two main reasons. The foreskin either is too tight to retract or pull back up. The latter can restrict bloodflow to the glans. Also the dreaded caught in zipper injury can cause it.
T3kM4n 10
I specifically had Phimosis, I could actually retract the foreskin while flaccid, not while erect. But it was completely uncomfortable and made sexual activities not really enjoyable... I hope the next 4 or 5 weeks go by quickly!
aedar 16
I'm actually going with this to the doctor in a few ways, can you answer one question? Is it hard or difficult to use the toilet or is there no problem? It's like the biggest problem I can think of while in recovery... After all you can put off other activities, but you need to use the bathroom a few times a day...
T3kM4n 10
It's absolutely an adjustment. Most docs actually make you go pee after the procedure but before you leave the hospital. My advice it to just sit for the first few days when you go. I had so much bruising I couldn't aim worth a damn.
NightHawk387 22
Look into foreskin stretching. You may not really need surgery.
T3kM4n 10
That works for some, there is some cream that doctors can prescribe as well that can help. I tried both with no luck...
EEK_the_cat 3
Hi, I've had the same surgery and can tel you that peeing is no problem. Sex and masturbation will be different and will take a little getting used to. But that's just a matter of practice!
donb23 23
I agree with #20.