Today, I had the most Chicago experience ever. While I was eating my delicious, deep dish pizza, someone was ripping the rims off my car 15 feet away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a call saying I was successful in my interview to be a pizza delivery driver. As I picked up my contract and got in my car, I reversed sideways into a pole and ripped off my front bumper. The manager came out and helped jam the bumper in so I could make it home. FML
Today, I parked downtown for a few minutes to pick up a pizza. As I was getting out of my car, a sketchy guy came up and asked me for $5. I told him to get lost and walked away. I walked back to the lot with my pizza and my car was gone. The sketchy guy was a parking attendant. He had my car towed. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
Today, I bought a car. After just ten minutes, my hub caps had been stolen. FML
Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML
Today, I was eating whilst driving. I tried to stop sauce from spilling on the console and instead smashed into a parked car. FML
Today, I got lost searching for an apartment in a huge complex. A hysterical woman started screaming that I didn’t belong there, and that she was calling the police. She stood behind my car so I couldn’t leave. I’m a pizza delivery driver, in full uniform and with the company emblem on my car. FML
Today, I came back from a 700-mile round trip. I hit a massive pothole I couldn't avoid and blew out a tire and bent my rim. I was less than a mile from my house. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, I had the lovely experience of witnessing a tow truck cause a couple thousand dollars' worth of damage to my broken-down car. FML
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Top comments
captain_hero89 22
at least you didn't get killed
lexiieeex3 32
Well that's an interesting duo...
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Comments (25)
captain_hero89 22
at least you didn't get killed
RememberSchlitz 9
I thought the same thing: The most uniquely Chiraq experience would be to be eating a deep dish pizza at a Cubbies game while your rims were being stolen and your kid sister was being mistakenly shot during a driveby as Rahm Emanuel told you on WLS that everything was fine and crime was under control. Can you tell I *used* to live there?
Bonngoo 34
Gotta love it
lexiieeex3 32
Well that's an interesting duo...
Brain_fart 20
Well that's awkward...Did you confront them?
mrjiggles1992 18
I would say no as they are here to tell the tail.
Andrewx8 12
#4 yeaaaa, I dare you to confront a person stealing your car rims...what would you say? huh? hey man... can I have my car rims back?........ you would get knocked out and maybe shot too since he was in Chicago.
creditless 14
way to ingrain yourself in the culture
swervelol 28
Sometimes they hand out free candy on the street too!
ThePaperDragon 31
The wheel stealing seems to have grown much worse in recent times.
ayyy_bro 26
Definitely sounds like Chicago. ?
hacksaw246 24
That sounds like a good way for them to get shot anywhere else.
acmariner99 25
Not really ... most property crimes don't justify using deadly force (unless the state allows such force to be used and the crime is defined as a felony). But yeah there are reasons chicagos crime is as bad as it is.
gracehi 33
He had it comin'! He had it comin! He only had himself to blame! If you'da been there, if you'da seen it, I bet you you would have done the same!
iwillcallpolice 2
I have lived in Chicago for 19 years and I never actually scene a bad crime happen luckily. Someone stealing rims from a car sounds pretty hilarious though, OP. Good luck.
thatweirdasian 22
Seen* And, I doubt you'll still find it hilarious when people steal your rims...