Today, my daughter was complaining about having no friends. My son told her it’s her own fault for attending church 3 times a week and trying to convert everyone at school like a Jehovah's witness who you can’t shut the door on. He’s 100% right but now she won’t stop crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my kids are at the age where they no longer want to go to church, and if I take them anyway, they misbehave on purpose to embarrass me. I don’t even want to go, my wife is the religious one, but if I refuse to go she’ll see to it I get hell on earth daily. FML
Today, my daughter admitted that she doesn’t have any friends at her elementary school. When I asked her why, she said it was because whenever she talks to any of the other kids, she gets punched in the face. FML
Today, my coworker was going on and on about how her son was nice and got good grades but that she needed to find him a therapist because he's too shy in class, and how she didn't want her friends to think badly of her. She's a counselor. I sat in silence for almost an hour, because all I could think was, "WTF? Poor kid." FML
Today, my daughter is twelve and doesn’t have a single friend, despite being kind and sweet. When I asked her why, she said, “All the other kids want me to die.” FML
Today, my overly religious fucknut of a cousin called me, ranting about my daughter trying to corrupt hers. They were chatting on a kids' messenger app when my 5-year-old sent her 7-year-old a Pokémon sticker. Apparently, Pokémon in satanic and we ought to know better. Now she won’t let them talk to us. FML
Today, my daughter confidently told me that I’m not allowed to ignore her when she’s sulking on purpose. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Clearly this child has spent too long listening to my ex-wife and her coven of brain-dead cackling witches, AKA her mother and aunties. FML
Today, my sister went from choosing not to have kids because they just aren’t for her to being obnoxiously childfree. We can’t have a single conversation without her ranting about how much she hates children, and parents are pathetic losers. I have three kids and don’t want her around. FML
Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML
Today, after I recently started going back to church, my husband, who was last inside a church when he was replacing a boiler, told me I’d better knock it off because our kids threatened to stop visiting, and our neighbours think we’re “that couple.” FML
Today, my daughter has spent the last few hours moaning that the boy she’s known since they were 4 years-old got a girlfriend instead of asking her out. She’s known him for almost 20 years. If she liked him all that time, she should have asked him out herself instead of moaning at me. FML
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Top comments
Iamthebanzai22 21
Well, someone had to tell her. He did both her and her classmates a huge favour
JasonThorn 23
Have her study the Spanish expansion into the Americas to see what that sort of religion ram-drive behavior results in...
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Comments (5)
JasonThorn 23
Have her study the Spanish expansion into the Americas to see what that sort of religion ram-drive behavior results in...
Iamthebanzai22 21
Well, someone had to tell her. He did both her and her classmates a huge favour
Justkidding100 41
your fault for raising your child like that tbh
ODBeefalo 10
child could be on the spectrum and latched to religion. if this is the case it wouldn't matter what the parents did up to this point. I am no religious person, but OP should teach her to dial it down and that not everyone cares. and if she's on the spectrum now is the time to start.
poopface82 25
Not necessarily. Parent could belong to a mainstream religion and the teenager could have become a JW.
mccuish 25
Someone had to say it. The parents just didn’t have the balls to say something
Yudith 28
She can hang out with her church group of like-minded church goers.