Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked if I could somehow get uncircumcised so I could add an inch to my length. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML
Today, the first guy I tried to have sex with at university got his foreskin stuck in his zip and had to go to hospital for stitches. He told all his friends I did it on purpose with my teeth during a blowjob. I now have a reputation, so I guess I'm staying single for the next 3 years. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
My eyes watered up just from reading this.
KingAdrock 16
One can be circumcised AND have an intact frenulum. Likely your girlfriend is just careless/stupid.
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Comments (28)
Callyn 47
Damn man, that's a rough first time.
BurnInDemonFire 39
My eyes watered up just from reading this.
real life problems 26
You might have a medical condition that may require small surgery to fix that, it's actually pretty common. I'm not sure what it's called but maybe someone can explain that knows what I'm talking about
Dave_Davington 34
I believe the official term for it is dick rippage.
real life problems 26
Haha yeah I meant before she ripped it, that part on his dick was grown too much together, theres a medical condition for it
wdfw 7
a friend who was circumcised as an adult because of it told me once, but I don't remember. It was a very long word that basically meant the opening in the foreskin wasn't wide enough
Ilmoran 20
You're probably talking about frenulum breve, where the frenulum is too short to allow the foreskin to move freely.
Adam Steege 8
Phimosis
KingAdrock 16
One can be circumcised AND have an intact frenulum. Likely your girlfriend is just careless/stupid.
Joe Brewer 3
I would be one of those guys. lmfao
Sophia Lorraine Valerie Mus-Talbot 3
Turtle neck or mushroom be gentle gals it's not a joystick!
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
as an uncircumcised male i think to myself what the hell is that and as someone with common sense i can sort of put 2 and 2 together
Rae Miller 10
Should have coached her. My ex was like that. I seriously didn’t know how to handle it.
Flutter_Lily 6
How does this happen? Wtf was she doing?!
honestjane 22
She was obviously trying out the latest "mind-blowing" sex tips from Cosmopolitan magazine. Guaranteed to send your boyfriend to the hospital in 2 moves or less.
SaltyLurker 10
Look I'm a guy myself and I still can't figure out what she must have been doing with it to tear that, but I agree with the Cosmo guy. Those "must-try-now" tips are flat-out painful 10:1, FYL.