Today, I've been recovering for a week from my medically needed circumcision. I'm 30, and they advise you wear essentially a jock strap for the first week to help. It wasn't too bad until I went to take the thing off and it caught a stitch on my manhood. That's the most unique pain ever. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML
Today, I got a serious infection following a medically necessary circumcision, and my doctor told me they will probably have to remove even more of the skin where the infection is particularly aggressive. My knob is gonna look like Freddy Krueger's face on a bad day. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Today, I just got home from hospital after delivering an order of razor wire. One of the razors split my trousers and my sack open, my bollock was visibly hanging out of the giant slit in my sack and I had to go get it stitched shut. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
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Top comments
rebeccabyram 15
Well that gives new meaning to the term 'yanking it'!!
airdude25 18
Oh my god! I could only imagine... I'm so sorry OP!
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Comments (54)
TheHcwalker 20
Take an ice bath
aphil017 6
Oh that sounds terrible! So glad that I do not have to go through something like that, or hope I never have to!
SteveDudleyUK 10
Even a couple of cowboys would be wary of red fourskins.
captainsmegma 12
You need to sit back and relax with a bowl of cheetos and watch some ****.
justinb97 16
Ouch. I instinctually curled up into fetal position just from reading this
ZombieGuyCXV 14
When I was little, I wore a pair of swim trunks and they got stuck to some skin on my testes... Upon going to the bathroom, I had to peel them off
lindseyj17 22
I'm a girl and even I cringed when reading this.
Grissman3000 10
I feel like unique is just not the world for this circumstance..
EEK_the_cat 3
Just wait until you get your first erection during your sleep or something...Now THAT will pull every stitch. I'm spreaking from personal experience. But it's all worth it in the end, trust me :)
T3kM4n 10
Haven't had a full one yet, but I wake up 2 or 3 times a night with partials and those hurt enough. And hopefully it's enough pain that my body realizes not to go full mast :-)
EnJey0 19
That um... *cringe.* Seriously though op, that must seriously suck