Today, my state began relaxing the quarantine order. We decided to take the kids for a nice picnic in the park to get them outside. First park we went to, we saw a homeless man openly pissing in the parking lot. Second park, we saw two teens fucking on the table. Day was officially ruined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wanted to take my wife and kids to visit some of my favorite hiking trails while visiting my hometown. It would’ve been great, had it not been for the fact that several horny perverts think fucking outside is a great idea. We stumbled upon at least three couples out in the open before giving up. FML
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend for a walk. It's our anniversary, and I hadn't seen him in over a month because of the quarantine, so we agreed to meet, as long as we had the proper safety gear and were careful. On my way to meet him, I drove past a park. In it were twelve half-naked teenagers playing volleyball. FML
Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML
Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML
Today, I took my son to a doctor’s appointment. As we were walking to the office, we saw a homeless man, stark naked, bathing in the decorative fountain. I hurried us inside but unfortunately my son got full view of well everything. FML
Today, at the end of a night of heavy drinking, I thought it was a great idea to go off into a park with a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in the park. Meanwhile, a couple of kids stole our clothes. We had to walk back to town with no clothes on. FML
Today, I got a call from the local police station. Apparently, my idiot son and his equally dumb girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to have sex in the car at a park in broad daylight. They assumed no one would be there due to the quarantine. They were wrong. FML
Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is two miles away from the park. FML
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Top comments
Mathalamus 25
Personally, it was a mistake to relax quarantine. They should have kept it until all cases either recovered or died.
Robert Cruikshank 7
What city are you in? Sorry you had a bad experience. Maybe next weekend 😃
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
Why? Look on the bright side -- you won't have to give your kids that awkward sex talk. They had a live demo!
Robert Cruikshank 7
What city are you in? Sorry you had a bad experience. Maybe next weekend 😃
Mathalamus 25
Personally, it was a mistake to relax quarantine. They should have kept it until all cases either recovered or died.
AmbrosiaFan 19
LOL this virus will not go away no matter how much we quarantine. 66% of the NY cases were with people who stayed at home. Those states without lockdown orders have few cases and few deaths.
Nico711 17
Where the hell do you live? Cleveland?
Baby_123 8
Did you tell them to “not try this at home”
bigdaddyeric 37
Where is this park ????
Hangryko 32
I learned very harshly during the pandemic that the world is full of selfish jerks, and it's not worth going out amongst them.