Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML
Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed, "Holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML
Today, I mistook a mannequin in a store for a real person and apologized when I bumped into it. A staff member saw and said, "Don’t worry, he’s used to it." FML
Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML
Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML
Today, while shopping, a few giggling girls came up to me and asked why I was wearing a dress in public. Highly confused, I didn't answer. When they walked away laughing, I realized they thought I was a man. I'm a woman. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML
Today, I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room, until someone walked out of the room next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ThatOtherMegan 30
*facepalm*
whiteboy7thst 2
So you would normally feel the need to poke random manakins...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (82)
ThatOtherMegan 30
*facepalm*
GreenMaze 0
I thought you can only poke on Facebook.
strizz18 0
where exactly did you poke him...
Yung23 0
lmfao
iamfunny 0
where is the fml part of this?? normally when there is a bad fml i dont say anything but... this was too bad. a guy was standing still, you poked him, he screamed like a girl, end of story. nothing bad happened to you, how does this make your life suck?
MrSassypants 34
21 its a 99% chance that OP poke him in the G spot in his... well I rather not say.
TheWhiteDemon 0
because everyone pokes mannequins
rallets 23
^ because everyone screams like a girl when theyre poked
CryMoreFMLs 15
T-T-T-TERROR MAKER!!!
DavLynn 4
62, just stfu with your nerd rage.
CEG3 0
83 - I like your profile pic
yak526 0
just curiosity at its finest
pertained 12
*poke*
sylverdrag_fml 9
That was gonna be my question as well. ;-)
changesinme 0
are you sure he's a he, not a she?
chicagolady 3
This belongs on MLIA
StevenTylersWife 2
That store must have some lifelike looking mannequins in it. All the stores I go to, the mannequins are white as paper and bald.
iamfunny 0
or missing body parts...
The_Weirdo 10
What, being pale and bald is bad?
holymolybro 0
And they're all nippin'.
pulse18 2
I was at this mall in northern ireland once where they had real people standing motionless in the windows pretending to mannequins.
lawlit25 2
Not of you're Voldemort!
tuppencej777 0
You just described my grandfather.
FMLandurstoo 9
That's what happens when you poke me. Now you owe me a *******.
khaya 9
So true, when someone pokes me they get 'stabbed'.
mikolyshka 0
so is this Facebook poking?
Eggers 2
13- With a very 'long', 'sharp' 'knife'. am I right?
EvilPotato 15
how could OP mistake a person with a white plastic fake-ass person.
metfanatic1986 0
ok mr. Herbert. but just one
FMLandurstoo 9
Mmmmmhmmmm. Can my nose have one too?
YacL 15
Don't poke mannequins, they might scream at you...
whiteboy7thst 2
So you would normally feel the need to poke random manakins...
polkadot3155 6
that's what I was thinking haha
manofwill2468 3
pokefedish???
CitrusGirl 0
If you were so sure he was a mannequin why did you poke him?
shakeTHEworld 12
May I ask why do you need to poke random mannequins? Even if they are lifelike.
orphinz 3
What sort of mannequins look like humans...
sxe_beast 11
The mannequins that have two arms, two hands, two legs, two feet, a head, etc? The Neiman Marcus I frequent has some really realistic mannequins.
orphinz 3
so you often mix plastic with skin?
sxe_beast 11
From after (and sometimes) they look semi realistic. They have realistic looking hair, skintone, eyes, makeup, etc. I would think if you're up close you could differentiate the differences. Maybe the OP is nearly blind.
khaya 9
You wanted to see if the mannequin was anatomically correct. So, OP stuck her finger up some guy's ass.
Littlebrraatt 14
Who said OP is a girl? Guys shop for clothes too.