Anonymous
United States
Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Sopron, Hungary
Bittie
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Angela17
Today, it's 3:42 a.m. and my son is crying because I won't let him play with his dirty diaper. FML
I don't know, son
Toronto, Canada
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
DENTALITY
Norway
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
independant
Corvallis, United States
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Fffhjno
Providence, United States
Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
dani0810
Sudbury, Canada
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
possiblyoverweight
United Kingdom
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
ButWhy
Berlin, Germany
Kinda weird
Today, my son is incapable of sleeping alone because my husband keeps co-sleeping with him, stating, "He's going to be a kid for only a little while." The same guy who forced me to stop co-sleeping with the same kid because, "Kids need to be independent." The hypocrisy. FML
Top comments
ohhoho 2
You failed as a parent...
startafire 0
There are worse things for your son to be sucking on before he sleeps.
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Comments (179)
blland 0
oh, your son came on the site today. he said "F1RST"
CallMeHush 1
^ Win
CallMeHush 1
What is with these double posts?
HerWrongHole247 18
Leave that comment in 2015
schatzelle 0
******* FAILED MAN. i never was alloewd to even have a pacifier.
LilaBear 2
If your parents never gave you a pacifier, even at 2 months of age, you probably sucked your thumb or something else. I have never heard of a baby that calmed themselves without a pacifier or something to suck on.
dralven 0
When I was a baby I refused a pacifier. My mom talks about wanting me to take one when I cried, but I just wouldn't. I also never sucked my thumb, or anything of the like.
nikkers 0
none of my kids had pacifiers.. they are actually really bad for their teeth. And they never needed anything to suck on to comfort themselves.
YayAmerica 0
They're really only bad for their teeth after their mouths are too big for them, because then they're sucking at the front of their mouths only. Thumbsucking is actually better for that reason, because the thumb grows with the mouth.
redbluegreen 41
I was never allowed a pacifier. I never sucked my thumb either. They're really bad for your teeth, as another person said. I'd never let my kids have one.
lovingamylea 0
Yea, I refused the pacifier when I was a baby too. Had a problem weaning off the bottle though, so my dad put Thai chilli sauce on the teat. Never touched it since, hah.
TerraDiablo 0
lol wen I was a baby I ate hot peppers my dad had left a jar of habeneros(i know it's spelled rong no need to point out) by me and I ate the whole jar of course I'm crazy abt spicy stuff tht never changed mb bc I'm Mexican I guess
cyaneyedangel 2
my son never had one either, or sucked his thumb, all children are unique, and not all of them need something to pacify them.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
192, You spelled "spelled wrong" wrong
HannahJoButtons 2
my son didn't take a pacifier...he didn't really want anything else to keep him occupied either. He only sucked on his fingers when he was hungry
hisgirlherboy 5
okay so I'm from Mexico, and nobody I know can eat a whole jar of habenero peppers, let alone a ******* infant. being mexican doesn't mean shit.
lauramac23 0
Do what most people do to and give the dummy to the "dummy fairy" or Santa to give to babys fark me!! 20!!! If my babies can give up at 1 why the hell can't a 20yr old
YayAmerica 0
Actually, it would be a lot more difficult at 20, because now there's truly a psychological attachment. If OP didn't want him doing it, she definately should have taken care of it a very long time ago. At this point, it's really none her business and he won't be stopping.
Mischief109 11
Ummm what even does this say??
JohnnyTheFox 0
better sucking on a pacifier than sucking on a huge throbbing ****.
CamH_fml 0
Dummy now... What do you think he's gonna go on to when you get rid of it?
CheeseHater 23
this is when you know your parenting sucks...
royboh 0
More like, this is when you know his father and your gene combination is bad.
Thatguywhotrolls 0
actually 20, this would most likely be crappy parenting over genetics.
tigia 0
hahaha WOW. your sons a virgin right?
stolencrackers 1
20 is a bit too old for that. I've heard of 6-7 year olds who still sleep with them, but if he hasn't been weaned off it by now, I'm guessing it's turned into a full blown habit, such as people who won't stop sucking their thumbs, nail biting, or at his age, I think cigarettes would be a bit more appropriate (not that I'm encouraging it).
YayAmerica 0
Agreed. At this point he has a true emotional and psychological attachment to the pacifier. Stopping would be as difficult as quitting smoking, because the same kind of relief comes to him that comes for smokers. However, it's really a fairly harmless attachment, so it doesn't really matter. It's a little weird, but eh. People have quirks.
oogyboogy 6
i actually feel really bad for him, i cant help but think that maybe he has a mild sort of mental disorder, maybe it makes him easily attached to something. ive heard of it before
Thatguywhotrolls 0
It's not a mental disorder in sense of autism or something, if the OP had patented him right there's no way it could have gotten to this point.
mitch89_fml 0
My partner is 25 yrs old and still sucks his thumb... FML
YayAmerica 0
I still suck my thumb. My husband doesn't care at all.
another_guy 0
Fake one. But funny one though.
Peroxide 3
Wow, he really wants to get that lead role in the sequal to that awful movie 'The Pacifier'. I didn't have the heart to tell him there was no such movie.