Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
First date going well
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Meat is murder
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Recycling at its finest
Today, I was having a vegetarian meal at my date's house. She was very proud because she grew all the veggies herself; she even made the fertiliser herself. I was halfway through the meal before I asked what she meant by "made her own fertiliser." It was human shit; her own human shit. FML
Confused?
Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Top comments
ThatGuyWhoTalks 10
It's ok OP. You obviously have a brain or else you wouldn't have been able to post this.
mollyjynxjax 28
The word she was looking for was pescatarian (the term for someone who eats fish meat but not any other kind of meat). So she was stupid to be arrogant in the first place, and doubly so for getting the term wrong.
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Comments (250)
mansen 15
Long spotted necks, and hang out with guys called Lamarck.
Enslaved 38
I know people that call themselves "vegetarians" but what they mean is they only eat chicken and fish, never red meat. Not sure if there's an actual name for them?
HiNowDie 17
Liars.
DanielleinDC 34
Idiots.
israelnotjacob 20
Dump her ass. She's clearly just a stuck up self righteous bitch. You can do better. And eating fish is not truly vegetarian so she's the dumbass here.
GuiLD15 7
or she could just be on her period.
mandygrl25 18
A lot of vegetarians will actually eat seafood, but some don't. It's their preference. And I'm not "stupid" because I have a 4.77 GPA and I'm ranked 74th in my class.
SouthernLady12 13
For such a high G.P.A. it's shocking that you used a comma when you didn't have two complete sentences.
Chibitalia180 6
If they eat seafood, they're not a vegetarian. Did you even bother to read the comments before you?
WhatsOpTic 11
It doesn't matter what your GPA and class rank is. You have the common sense of a shovel.
xerbrus 14
4.0 is the highest gpa if you had 4.77 you would not be 74th and grades in school are no measure of intelligence is a measure of knowledge and effort
rocker_chick105 31
42- what I've learned is GPAs show how well you memorize things, not necessarily understand them. I'm a good student, but I don't remember stuff from last year, because education now is mostly memorizing not understanding.
WhatsOpTic 11
#90 I'm not standing up for 42 cause I don't like her (she comes of annoying and cocky) but if you have AP (advanced placement) classes you can have a higher GPA
ItsATwinThing 9
You could be "intelligent" but that doesn't mean you lack common sense...
smokecloud_ 37
I think some schools go on a 5.0 scale. I've been out of high school for nearly ten years though, so my memory may be rusty. In any case, they did sound way too cocky and arrogant for being so incorrect. But I'm just a nothing waitress, what do I know? ;)
Enslaved 38
The Valedictorian at my graduating school had a 5.0 GPA because she took all advanced honour classes. J/S
TurquoiseJesus 15
high schools have both a weighted and unweighted GPA. Unweighted is out of 4, ans doesnt vary by class type. Weighted takes into account the type of class (level, pre-ap, ap, etc), and is out of 5.0, making it possible to have about a 4.
Coeliacchic93 21
if someone has a lower GPA it certainly does not make them stupid. if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree it will feel stupid for its whole life. school grades aren't everything. memorising various facts won't help help you with a lot of things in life
tj4234 36
I'm not from the US. What on Earth is GPA/class ranking? And why is it relevant to a thread on vegetarianism?
dreadbeat69 12
GPA is a measure of work ethic, not intelligence... I was going to come up with a supporting example, but I mean, I'm already replying to one.
syed121417 22
Nobody asked for your GPA and nobody cares. You could have a 100% average and still lack common sense
syed121417 22
GPA means grade point average. She said that because she wants to come off as smart but it actually made her come off as self absorbed and lacking in common sense
cinderelessar 5
# 42 you mean 74th out of 75 students obviously!
invisibleturtle 4
I'm a 'vegetarian' who still eats fish. I always have to explain and repeat myself when I say pescatarian, so I always say vegetarian because it's simpler. Either way, it doesn't matter if she uses a general term or a specific one for what she eats. It's her choice to not eat meat, so it's her choice if shrimp and fish are 'okay' or not.
vanaathiel 13
Of course it's her choice, but she can't just randomly decide what constitutes meat and what doesn't. Fish is meat. Shrimp is meat. She can eat whatever the hell she wants, but I can see why OP would get peeved about basically being called dumb when he (rightly!) vegetarian = no meat.
DelphiCat 17
Could you stop with that? Do you have any idea how often people try to feed me fish because of people like you? There are literally restaurants with the "v" sign next to a dish, and it comes with anchovies or some crap. Especially problematic are thai places where the fish is in the sauce, so there is no warning whatsoever. How does this happen? Ignorance. What causes ignorance? People like you spreading misinformation.
kohler_thanyou 5
thats why catholics eat fish on fridays during lent. because its not meat...
Laxinitup 18
No actually that is not why Catholics eat fish on Friday's. The real reason is that it is a symbolic gesture to Jesus Christ sacrificing his life (which was on a Friday). This led to fasting on Fridays which then led to only eating fish. There are different beliefs for why they picked fish: one being that fish was a poor man's food and red meat is considered a rich mans food which would be a more sincere gesture. Another common one is that warm blooded animals (like humans) sacrifice themselves to be eaten where cold blooded animals (fish) do not. In the end it is a symbolic gesture to Jesus Christ; not that Catholics believe fish is not meat.
kohler_thanyou 5
Yes, I know about my religion. But im confused as how a whole entire religion can eat fish on meatless days but a vegetarian can't eat seafood because it is considered meat.
smokecloud_ 37
Religion doesn't always have to make sense, now, does it?
Laxinitup 18
Well then you missed the point that I made... Vegetarians do not eat meat; it is accepted by those that follow the "rules" set by those that created the term "vegetarian"; no meat which includes seafood. Catholics don't have "non meat days", they eat fish rather than other meat during special times/celebrations because it is a tradition that was started a long time ago when fish was far more common (thus a poor mans food) than other meet (warm blooded animals were a luxury). It was considered more of a sacrifice to eat fish than to enjoy luxurious meat which is why it is considered a sacrifice.
scrabblestick 9
Actually it's simply because one of the earlier popes made it so, because he was mates with a fisherman...
mishacollins 15
Sounds more like a fussy eater than a vegetarian to me.
mattjamt 16
Girlfriends will always call us stupid, whether we like it or not.
SouthernLady12 13
Since they are in a relationship and he took her out for a date... oh wait I def see where you're going with this... shame on you op for having a conversation with your girlfriend on your date didn't you know your not allowed to get to know your significant other better. tsk tsk
Pictureit13 6
Vegetarians can't eat any meat that has a face; cows pigs, duck ect... They can eat eggs and oysters and clams... However, in my experience, shrimp do have faces. So, you're not dumb for asking a valid question!