Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after an amazing date with a girl I like at a restaurant, I realized I foolishly forgot my wallet. When I returned, I spotted my date at another table on a date with a different guy. I also wasn’t able to find my wallet. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a lovely dinner date. Our waitress was really sweet, so we talked about leaving her a big tip. When we got home, we discovered we both thought the other person had left it. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
taerts 9
I feel extremely sad for the robbed man :(
bosskidz20 2
Dafuq
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (143)
arthurlikestrain 0
ydi for being bothered by this. Grow up
Petunia888 13
Yeah, OP, what the hell is up with you having morals?
ohmandapants 17
11 what the hell is wrong with you? You need to be slapped around because you obviously have no common sense.
jamesds92 0
your gay
Rainbow_dumpster 28
ugh.. 11 is just being dumb..
desireev 18
First of all, OP wasn't bothered by this.. He was extremely turned on. Hence the 'gonads went AWOL' being part of the FML. And second of all, how does it NOT bother you?! Stealing is wrong. You said 'grow up'. Are you implying that adults aren't or shouldn't be bothered by this? REAL adults have jobs and don't steal and would find this to be immoral and wrong on so many levels. So you, quite frankly, need to grow up!
greenmen 12
He goes to jail if she does
KiddNYC1O 22
The girlfriend needs to grow up, ass piñata.
zakkcarter 7
Get back to the kitchen..... In the real world, (not perfect dreamland) people steal, alot. Believe it or not, even "real" adults steal. No sure where youve been but stealing has been a way of getting something you want for a long ass time. Garunteed you have stollen something in your life. So i cant see why anybody wouldnt be used to this behavior.
SmoshFan6 0
I'm assuming she doesn't want to go Dutch.
Petunia888 13
Oh no, she's buying. Or the guy that got his wallet jacked is buying. Thanks random stranger!
Calyx_fml 22
She's a smooth criminal.
jtthegr8 26
You've been struck by a smooth criminal... *music*
TSN619 7
As long as its the Alien Ant Farm version
poindextrr 2
that's a shit move from both of u.. i understand u were shocked but come on.. grow a pair!
perdix 31
She's just teaching the guy an expensive lesson in minding his personal property and vigilance. And you guys are getting a free meal out of it, and depending on how much cash the idiot was carrying around, maybe a movie or some consumer electronics.
Timmip12 9
Dumbass
shankle1234 0
Wtf did you get yourself into! You better watch your stuff when you BREAK UP WITH THAT THIEF
thisbitchlys 0
i would enjoy the robbed mans fml.
TheSmoothDude 10
She sounds like a keeper.
DKjazz 20
Finders keepers, losers weepers. Yup, she sure is a keeper. OP sounds like a weepy loser.
Fml_FTW228 10
Well, I do not see how your gonads were effected by this incident. Also, why the hell are you scared to say something, especially if you have been with her long enough to have an/multiple anniversary(s).
heyred 11
I hope that she gets caught for theft and you - for aiding and abetting. You deserve one another - just don't breed.
Fml_FTW228 10
What you deserve is some thumbs down, because I had just posted my comment, and was proof reading it. Then all of a sudden another comment appeared and instantly got a thumbs up. *Tisk Tisk*