Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
Today, I mistook a coworker’s laughter for choking and performed the Heimlich maneuver on them in the break room. They weren’t choking, but now they’re afraid to laugh near me. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I went to get food. I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and all of a sudden it got hard to breathe. I realized it was a blueberry muffin, and I'm deathly allergic to blueberries. I looked at my friend, and she was laughing, saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house teasing her with a pickle. She hates them so I thought it would be funny to pretend to deep throat it. Her dad came in and startled me so bad, I inhaled it. She had to call 911 while he performed the Heimlich maneuver. I’m no longer welcome back. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML
Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML
Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
YdoIhaveAchode 4
That doctor is smooth like Keith stone.
TheOnlyAlan 0
I'm in med school... I can't wait to use this some day.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (95)
YdoIhaveAchode 4
That doctor is smooth like Keith stone.
Trainspotting_fml 9
Did he throw on some Aviators and shout, "Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaah!" afterwards?
LookOnBrightSide 12
OP has to bear in mind that her doctor might be bi-polar. Ah, these puns are so grizzly, I almost feel bad.
hellbilly205 17
Wow, what a beary clever doctor you have there, maybe it was Docbastard.
ydi_4_suking 20
Poor OP that beary sucks
iamyummylicious 14
Your pun doesn't work. Hmmm. You're beary bad at making puns.
blackheart24 10
Haha number 1's name is awesome.
acdc923 0
Once I swallowed a nickel and the doctor said "Now that's not a way to save your money!"
ClassyCommando 13
"Indeed, it was simply unBEARable."
cheaptrix 6
At least OP didn't choke on pedo bear O.o
upsidedownfrownn 5
Haha. Your picture. Love it
XtraEzeee 8
If there was any more laughter PANDAmonium may arise
periwinkle95 10
I bet that was embearassing, OP. But hey, I would have laughed about it myself if it happened to me!
Guren 0
You have to admit that was a koalaty joke
max_wilder 9
Always
power6053 4
After choking you I would expect it to be a sour patch kid.
jDCrackpot 7
I don't blame him for making a joke, I find it quite funny that you needed to go to the emergency room because of a gummy bear in the first place.
ColCyclone 17
It seems to me that this is more of a "mlia" kind of joke, because that was so clever considering all the stress he's put through during surgeries.
TexasJosh 0
I bet that Doctor uses FML, lol. Sounds like something an FML user would say in an attempt to be funny.
fymother 13
Maybe it was one of those five-pound gummy bears?
SuperKnuckels 6
well that was beary beary rude. :P
PenguinSwag47 0
Yeah maybe they tried to eat one of those whole.
TheOnlyAlan 0
I'm in med school... I can't wait to use this some day.
BeefyQueef 5
Use it on someone who has been mauled by a bear lolololol!!!!!11!!1!!1!!!!111111111111!! oneoneone
urdirtyolduncle 15
^obvious troll
eb0ny 15
^ thanks for pointing that out cocknipples.
ShansAl 21
Haha. Awesome doctor! Probably could have come up with something a little better though!
someindiandude 6
Drinking some warm water to slightly soluate the gummy bear might have spared you this beary embarassment.
sadistmonkey 19
When you drink warm water (or anything for that matter) it passes through your esophagus, which probably not where the gummy bear was if the OP was choking on said gummy bear.
AugustBurnsToast 14
I'm sure the embearassment you suffered was hard to bear :p
XxWolf96xX 0
Nice!
ohboyfml22 0
I just chuckled when I read this ... But that's something I don't think I could "bear" :)
SheTheOtaku 21
Aw man. This is so punny! I'm not table to handle this!
disappear_again 14
Gummy bears are omnomnomable
DrMime 10
Oh just grin and bear it, I'm sure it wasn't that grizzly. Maybe you should paws and think about what you're eating next time!
speshlk37 13
Holy jeez, if that wasn't your pic, that comment would have been unacceptable.
micahsmommy 13
Were you OP's doctor?
CryMoreFMLs 15
I guess you expect me to come up with another unbearable pun to fit this bearly acceptable FML.
ambamm135 7
Your doctor is so punny! No? Ok I'm done.
iamyummylicious 14
Yup, take your own profile picture's advice.
ambamm135 7
Nah had glass already maybe you would like a pitcher full?