Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML
Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
Who put those condoms in my wallet?
imintheair 0
ydi, for not listening to your high school sex ed teacher when they told you that keeping condoms in your wallet can cause them to be exposed to higher temperatures and/or weird conditions that affect their effectiveness.
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Comments (140)
twenty2182 0
lol smooth. you deserved that... Why wouldn't the parents pay anyway?
Clare420 0
YDI. don't you know your not soopused to keep them in your pocket?? holes form!
Clare420 0
lol I mean wallet. I'm too stonedd. I don't use condoms at all because I'm on the pill(:
killerpenguin4 9
thay shouldn't be mad at least you planned on using protection :D
hilarym 0
116 have fun getting STD's ;)
NoFatAssOnaStick 0
116, enjoy your AIDS.
24788 7
Who put those condoms in my wallet?
Julle_fml 0
Yeah, I can see why that would be embarrassing. I don't think her parents will make a big deal out of it. They'll probably just think it's funny ;)
MrJentipede 2
Ditto #2, my wallet is already stuffed with enough junk. How few pockets does this guy have?
zoomster 0
haha i have had that happen to me
Fsqu4red 5
No you havent
hockey0429 4
You're a girl....
Bonzer 2
Girls can keep condoms too... but it would probably be at her house. Or her boyfriend doesn't have any at his house, so she brought them.
imintheair 0
ydi, for not listening to your high school sex ed teacher when they told you that keeping condoms in your wallet can cause them to be exposed to higher temperatures and/or weird conditions that affect their effectiveness.
Drummer389000 0
he couldve just carried them for the night. I hide them until i go to see my girlfriend, and then just in case I put them in my wallet for just that night. I don't carry them around in there. he couldve been doing that you never know.
Bonzer 2
Anyone else laugh when they read "affect their effectiveness?"
mjsmclaren 0
You suck, were they ribbed? If they were magnum then your dating a girls whos had it deep
mehwhateverr 0
#3, I hope you're kidding. If your (future?) daughter brought a man to meet you and you found out he had condoms hidden in his wallet, you would laugh it off? I'd expect the parents to freak out instead of find it funny.
doll_face 0
three? THREE? how do you even find the opportunity to bone that much? ..assuming it's not at your (or her) place.
BigMacBoi 3
Maybe he just finishes fast, and restores faster? xD
yabrett 0
YDI for boldly pulling your wallet out and standing for all to see, im assuming you were waving your wallet around over the table so it would be obvious you were paying, next time be casual, especially if you want to impress people cause then it would seem like no big deal you're paying for it
jdawg2010 0
you're retarded. he probably just TOOK OUT his wallet, and opened it, thus, they fell out.
thisismyhead 25
Or maybe he has a hard time getting his wallet out of his pocket? I know plenty of people who stand to get their wallets out. Don't be such an ass!